Pain in the Heart
by Leuconoe01
Summary: "Jill, I'm a woman. Ian's a man' name." Jill is new to Pelican Town after deciding to leave her past behind and trying to start new. Jill didn't know, however that there would be complications to moving and starting fresh in the valley. (JillxShane)
1. Chapter 1

Spring day 1

I stepped off the bus shielding my eyes from the blinding spring sun, the bus door closed behind me and drove off in a hurry as though the driver had somewhere important to be.

"Hi!" I heard a voice call out to me and I looked up at an older woman with auburn hair and kind green eyes.

"Oh, hello," I replied unsure of how to react to someone approaching me so easily and cheerfully.

"I'm Robin, I was a bit worried that I would miss your bus, good to know I made it on time."

"Well, actually, in all honesty my bus was late, apparently there was a mishap with a passenger. Something about a heart attack."

"Oh my!" The woman replied grabbing my wrist and leading me down the dirt path and to the right.

"Wouldn't be the first time I was late due to a heart attack."

"Jill right? I have the right person right?"

"Of course. Why?"

"Well, in the letters that we received about you you never came off as a talkative person."

"Oh...My apologies," I said quieting up quickly. Robin shook her head.

"No no, it is a great change of scenery, you get use to everyone here and the conversations seem to overlap each other. I think we really needed a fresh face to brighten things up," she replied leading me down an overgrown path skirting between trees until finally an old cabin came into view. I stopped. I knew the place had been abandoned there were years but I never expected it to be this bad. I looked around the overgrown and abandoned yard wincing at the excess amount of trees on the property.

"I see that look on your face. I wish that Lewis had told me sooner, so that I could clean up your yard some, there is some prime wood here. On the other hand though, I checked out your house and even though it's old, its very livable. I promise my first born on it."

"Oh, um, thank you I appreciate that, but you don't have to."

"Oh don't fret over me. As a welcome to the valley gift I left you some tools in your house. Well! If you don't mind, I will have to excuse myself. I must be going, and you need to settle into your new home," Robin replied waving good bye and heading north through the back woods. I nodded my head. Yea, settling in, that's exactly what I needed, I thought to myself a bit sourly as I gave one last look around the yard that was nothing but a mess. I turned to the old house and placed the key in the keyhole, the door creaking loudly as it opened. I inhaled deeply and clicked the light switch, the lights flickered for a bit before fizzling out. I let out a frustrated sigh before letting the door slam behind me and trying to make my way around the house to find a lamp. Finally after banging my knee against an end table I found a lamp and turned it on. There had to be spare light bulbs in this house somewhere. I made my way around the house rummaging through drawers until I found a spare bulb. I sighed, suppose that will be the first thing I do tomorrow, I thought furiously to myself as I climbed a chair to change the bulb.

"There, a little light to brighten this dark room, now I can sort of see where to put my stuff at," I mumbled to myself then shook my head. As if that would happen today. I clicked the light back off and threw myself face down on the bed. I just wanted to sleep, that's all I wanted right now. I suppose I was still a bit sour from the day before, but I had to put that away, because I couldn't take my frustrations out on what I can only assume were these nice people.

"Tomorrow's going to be a better day," I tried to reassure myself as I slipped into a well deserved coma of sleep.

Spring day 6

I leaned against my ax, eyes closed as I tried to follow alongside the ramblings of the blond man that was laying on his back watching me. I shook my head.

"None of that made sense Sam, you realize that right?" I asked glancing at him out the corner of my eye. He cracked a smile.

"Well, Sebastian makes it sound more...Senseful? Is that a word?" Sam asked tracing the clouds with his finger.

"Not to those that actually speak a normal language," I replied stacking the wood on the side of my house. Sam sighed.

"It could be a word."

"Not really. Besides, I'm pretty sure Sebastian hates me."

"I'm pretty sure Sebastian hates everyone."

"Thanks Sam. That makes me feel a whole lot better," I replied, and Sam rolled onto his stomach.

"Then there's Linus, he's the crazy man that lives behind Sebastian's," Sam replied trying to list the people off his hand.

"I have met Linus, and from what he told me, he is very happy with his life."

"Ah yes, the life of a homeless carefree man," Sam replied.

"You should be more polite to him."

"I know, I know...Now who else?"

"Well," I replied starting to plant seeds in the freshly tilled earth, "out of the ones you didn't mention, I have met Leah, Penny and Pam, as well as Gunther, Clint, and the dude chick with the long hair. Evelyn or something?"

"Elliot, and that was very rude," Sam replied with a grin, I could feel a small smile form on my face.

"That was, wasn't it? I suppose I should apologize to him for it."

"Stop right there, if he doesn't know that you called him that, then he doesn't ever need to know. But now it will be a joke between us and I won't be able to contain my laughter when I see him now. Great you ruined everything for me," Sam replied rambling off. I laughed causing myself to jump. I hadn't heard a laugh escape my lips there was so long that I forgot what it sounded like. Sam laughed.

"You look like you just scared yourself."

"I think I did."

"Ha, nice. So...What else...Or who else? Oh! I bet I know who it is you've never met!"

"You mean other than Willy who's on a fishing trip?"

"Yes. I bet you my next pay check that you have not met Shane," he replied confidently. I frowned, I was not about to make that bet with him considering I was flat broke.

"Shane?" I asked and Sam nodded his head vigorously.

"He's the town's drunk."

"What," I replied flatly and Sam flushed a bit.

"I don't mean it in a demeaning or hurtful way, it's just...well...He spends his time at the bar once he gets off work. He's also kind of rude. I don't know what it is that he's trying to drown, but you can't exactly make friends with someone who doesn't want anything other than to be left alone."

"He sounds like he has a very sad life," I replied barely looking up from my seed. Sam shrugged.

"I suppose. Hey, when can I get some veggies from you?"

"Once I figure out how long it takes to grow veggies."

"Well aren't you the best farmer around," Sam joked. I turned to him slowly.

"Don't you have somewhere you need to be?"

"Right! Work! And hey, if you want to meet Shane try the saloon after five, that's about what time he gets off. See you later Farmer!" Sam called walking away. I sighed, he was the only one I hadn't met, it was worth a try, I thought to myself as I continued my work.

Later that evening

I walked down the stone pavement the sun slowly setting behind the mountains making my way down to the saloon. I sighed, it already felt like the walk of shame even though I wasn't drunk. I opened the door to the saloon and could see faces turn to me, a few of them saying hello to me. I mumbled a few hellos making my way to the bar and sitting in the far corner. A blue haired woman greeted me with a warm smile.

"Hi Jill, didn't expect to see you here," she replied and I nodded.

"Hey Emily, yea, I was told this was a good spot to hang out after work."

"Ha! Yea, if you're looking to get wasted," Gus replied with a hearty laugh.

"What can I get for you Jill?" Emily asked and I thought about it before responding with a: 'scotch on the rocks please.' Emily smiled and placed a cup on the bar starting to pour amber liquid into the glass.

"Drink up," she replied before walking away, and I began to sip away at the drink slowly. I looked around the bar, everyone here was a familiar face. I suppose on a Wednesday most people went out to the saloon I suppose to numb themselves for the rest of the week. I turned back to my drink when I felt my phone vibrate. I pulled it out and stared at the phone with a frown. I closed my eyes and let out a long sigh.

"Are you going to answer that?" A voice asked and I shook my head.

"Oh no, I won't even touch this message. Really not worth my time."

"Really, cause I was hoping that you would take it and get out of my spot," the voice remarked gruffly. Finally I looked up to see who was speaking to me, and glaring down at me with a pair of fierce green eyes was a scruffy man I had never met before. His dark hair was kept short, and the stubble on his face declared that he hadn't shaved in a while and didn't care.

"Oh," I replied a bit taken aback at the man's sudden approach. "Hi, I'm Jillian Viper and I just moved into town, you must be~" "Shane yea, great story Ian, now could you move?" The man interrupted stiffly. I pursed my lips.

"Jillian...Most people call me Jill."

"Don't care. I don't know you and I really don't have time to chat," he replied and I looked around the saloon in disbelief.

"You're in a bar, and you don't have time?" I asked incredulously.

"Yea, now scat kid," he replied elbowing his way into the corner. I stood up and placed some money on the bar for my drink.

"I was just leaving anyway," I replied.

"Good," he remarked sourly and I stopped running my index finger along my bottom lip.

"You know, you can snuff out the world as much as you want, but just because you hurt doesn't mean that you should take it out on others. A man with walls, that's what you are," I said. Shane shrugged.

"Thanks for the history lesson. Here's to never meeting up again," he replied raising his beer can to me in fake toast. I shook my head and proceeded to walk out the saloon. So that was Shane? I suppose what Sam said about being rude wasn't exactly an exaggeration. He was pretty rude, but the demeanor was just a facade hiding something underneath. Something that he didn't want to talk with anyone about, can't say that I blame him, everyone has secrets, but even I wasn't rude to people the way he was.

It wasn't long before I found myself back on my farm, my thoughts made the trip home seem less of a walk and more of a task. A challenge actually. I felt bad for Shane, no matter how rude he could be towards someone, pain needs to be dealt with properly, and his drinking habit was not a good example of it.

I leaned against my mailbox watching the stars begin to twinkle in the sky, this valley, it was calming, not like the city, I suppose that was the reason my grandfather lived here. It was peaceful. I closed my eyes and slid off my mailbox making my way towards the house, my dog Paco meeting me at the door with a wagging tail.

"Yea, it's time for a good night's rest huh?" I replied opening the door and kicking my shoes off. It was a long day and I was exhausted. I stretched before making my way to the bed and passing out.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Welcome to our Guild

Spring Day 9

I stepped out onto the porch and stretched my back cracking. I let out a groan, it felt good, everything was sore I suppose as a desk junkie I wasn't use to manual labor as much as I thought I was. I turned my head noticing a white envelop sticking out of my mailbox.

"Oo mail," I replied retrieving the envelop and opening it up.

Dear citizen of Pelican Town,

Sorry for the inconvenience of the boulder blocking the mines, but due to the efforts here at JoJa Mart, we were able to clear the boulder away allowing access to the mines once again. Once again we apologize for the inconvenience and hope that you will continuously support your locally funded JoJa Mart.

Morris~Management

I scratched the back of my head, I didn't know there were mines here in this village. I tapped my chin looking over the letter several times, when I puckered my lips out and looked at Paco over the letter.

"Couldn't hurt to look into it right? Mines means ore...Which could lead to better equipment right? And materials for the farm...Right?" I reasoned with Paco as if he was going to try an stop me from doing something. "Not like you care, you only really care if I feed you and let you out to run," I replied waving the letter around. The dog barked once before running off tail wagging. Yea, that was a dog alright, I thought to myself as I made my way into the village to ask Lewis about the mines. I trotted down the dirt path and into the village my feet hitting the pavement solidly. I stopped in the square and looked around, I knew Lewis typically left his house early to check up on some things in the village, I just didn't know where to look first, when finally I heard footsteps from behind. I whirled around hoping it was Lewis, a crooked grin on my face that fell instantly when I saw who it was.

"Isn't it against the law to be that happy this early in the morning?" Shane remarked sourly glaring at me.

"Good morning to you too, and actually I was hoping you were someone else."

"Keep hoping, but don't think it will come true. You can't change someone's outer appearance."

"Actually you can, it's called plastic surgery. Cougars do it all the time," I replied sarcastically. Shane raised an eyebrow passing by me but still talking.

"So what you're saying is you're older than what you look?" My cheeks flushed red.

"No."

"That's what it sounded like to me Ian."

"Jill. I'm a woman? Ian's a man's name?"

"Really? I didn't notice," he remarked turning back around without another word.

"Charming!" I shouted back at him, when I gave a frustrated sigh and decided to hike the mountain because Lewis could never be found when you needed him. I stormed up the north pass out of the village stopping briefly to glance to my left when I heard what sounded like a strange squeak. I glanced around quickly only noticing the crumbling building that read 'community center' on it and not seeing any animals.

"Heh, Shane has me all in a tizzy, making me think I'm actually crazy," I muttered to myself shaking my head and still trotting uphill towards the river when I nodded my head in realization.

"Duh, this is the only place mines could be located, it's the only place that I haven't been to explore," I replied to myself trotting across the rickety bridge and into the opened cave. I squinted through the dark and wandered around the dark entrance, when I felt a cold shiver down my spine.

"I don't believe you and I have met, all things considering," an older man with an eye-patch on his left eye replied.

"Oh," I replied slowly not sure what to make of this old man, "I'm~"

"Jill, I've heard about you."

"Oh...Have you?"

"Indeed...Tell me, did you hear the mines calling?'

"Not exactly, I got a letter in the mail saying that the mines were opened now."

"Hm...In that case if you are interested in venturing down into the mines, you should not go unarmed," the man replied handing me an old beaten sword.

"Um...I don't know," I replied still not sure of what to make of this man. The man smiled.

"I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself. My name is Marlon. I own the guild right out of the mouth of the mines with my friend Gil."

"A guild?" I asked as the man walked around me inspecting me.

"Yes, you see these mines were abandoned when creatures and monsters started crawling out of the cave walls. Our guild is dedicated to protecting this valley."

"And you want to initiate me?" I asked taking the sword from him, inspecting it. I frowned, seeing this old man and this old sword all I could think of was that game my siblings and I use to play when we were kids 'it's dangerous to go alone, take this', I mused with myself.

"IF, you decided that you want to join this guild with us, your initiation is to get down to level ten and slay ten slimes."

"Slimes?"

"Yes."

"...How would I know if~"

"We'll know," Marlon replied walking out of the cave. I let out a sigh and looked down at the sword, I really didn't come to the valley for this...But...Maybe farming will get boring? I tried to reason with myself when I could hear a low growl coming from below the ladder. I stared at it for a long while shifting the battered sword from hand to hand.

"Is this what I want? Should I do this?" I asked out loud, and mostly to myself. "It does sound interesting, it could be rewarding," I muttered unsheathing the sword and examining it, another growl emanating from the floor below.

"What do I want?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

The Community Center

Spring day 11

The town was always peaceful in the early morning, the serenity of the town was only broken once people started going to work. I made my way up the slight incline that began the mountains, when I spotted Lewis moping about in the front of the run down building.

"Good morning Mayor Lewis," I replied walking up to him, he turned to me and smiled.

"Good morning Jill, what can I do for you?"

"Nothing, I just saw you moping here and thought I could see if you needed something."

"Oh, not really, I guess I'm still trying to live in the past," Lewis replied unlocking the door and walking into the building.

"Wow," I replied following him into the building.

"Young kids these days don't really care about preserving traditions, they care about new innovations like JoJa Mart. *sigh I suppose that if anyone else buys a membership I'll sell this to Morris. Ah well, just an old man with an old heart. Hope I haven't dampened your day Jill. If you will excuse me," Lewis replied walking out the community center. I stood alone in the main corridor of the building looking around the crumbling floors and broken windows, and then I heard it, that animal-like squeak that I heard from the previous day.

"What are you?" I asked walking around the community center when I stopped dry looking down at an apple shaped creature with what looked like twigs for arms and legs.

"WHAT...Are...You..." I replied looking at the creature confused, and it jumped in fear running down the hall.

"Wait!" I exclaimed following it but it had disappeared.

"This valley is so weird," I replied to myself quietly crouching down to look at a note that was left on the ground. I studied the note for a bit but the language was undecipherable. I let out a sigh and left the community center making my way down the stairs almost running into Shane.

"Oh!" I replied in shock. "Sorry Shane, I didn't mean to almost run into you," I finished taking a step back, the strong smell of beer still lingering on him from the night before. He rolled his eyes and massaged his head.

"Whatever, I don't have time to chat with you, I'm already late enough as is," he said angrily walking towards JoJa Mart. Right, no matter what the occasion was every day was Shane be rude day. I shook my head with a sigh and walked into Pierre's little store.

"Hey good morning Farmer!" Pierre called from the counter. I smiled.

"Good morning Pierre," I replied back looking through the seeds and trying to remember what I needed when the door flung open. I turned my head to the door, a large man with rectangular glasses and pitch black hair walked in, his suit was pristine and his red bow-tie was annoying to look at. This must have been Morris from JoJa Mart that Lewis mentioned earlier.

"Come on everyone, down to JoJa mart for your needs! Here! Don't forget your fifty percent off your next purchase coupons!" Morris exclaimed waving coupons around in the air. Everyone in the store moved towards Morris for a coupon, I stood in the back leaning against the seed aisle Pierre quite unhappy in the background. Finally Morris turned to me.

"You must be the new farmer, I have plenty of seeds and fertilizer in stock at JoJa mart, you should come on down and buy some," he replied.

"No thank you. I'm quite satisfied with the service I receive at my local grocery store, besides," I replied walking up to Morris and looking up at him, "I like my produce fresh, not flash frozen and transferred from Timbuktu," I added, and Morris' face looked as though it could explode.

"Now," I said skirting past him, "If you will excuse me I have some seeds to buy and actual work to do," I finished dropping my items on the counter and I spotted Abigail in the back corner trying to stifle a laugh.

"All people see it JoJa Mart way," Morris replied trying to get the last word.

"I doubt that," I said grabbing my bags and walking out leaving Morris standing there grinding his teeth. I walked out the door smiling to myself. I always felt proud of myself after telling off a JoJa Mart bigwig.

"You seem like you're enjoying yourself," a deep voice replied causing me to turn and see who was speaking to me.

"Oh! Sebastian, I wasn't expecting to see you out of your basement," I said addressing the pale young man with black clothes and pitch black hair.

"On the weekends I usually do a bit of a jam session with Sam," he replied starting to walk in step with me.

"Oh? You two in a band?"

"Something like that. So my question?"

"To which you asked if I were enjoying myself. The answer is yes. I told off Morris."

"Nice."

"I pride myself in somethings that I shouldn't," I replied as we stopped outside Sam's house.

"Hey, someone has to right? Catch you later," he replied walking into Sam's house and disappearing behind the door. I shrugged and made my way through the forest and back home, my mind turned back very quickly to the creature I saw in the community center. I had never seen a creature like that before, was it one that was native to this valley? Could it be dangerous? Is it possible that these are one of the creatures that Marlon was talking about? That day, after Marlon handed me the sword I hesitated. I didn't go down further into the mines, mostly because I think I was afraid. Afraid that I might enjoy myself for once and do something that didn't seem like it belonged within the norms or society. None of this seemed right, none of this made any sense. My grandfather never wrote about any of this in his letter. What if he didn't know about any of this? What if he just lived a happy life as a farmer? Was that something I could do for myself? Could I really make a fresh start here? Could I really leave behind everything that happened and rewrite the slate?

My thoughts were halted when I could hear a very loud audible groan from the valley. I glanced around, there were some things that scared me, no matter how many times I heard it, and THAT moan, scared the crap out of me every time I heard it.

"Nope," I replied shaking my head and walking into the house. Everything that I heard in the outside was going to stay in the outside. I thought to myself locking the door tightly behind me.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

The Wizard and the Bar Prince

Spring 12

I woke up the next morning to thunder cracking through the sky, Paco in my face whining. I pushed on his muzzle to get his hot breath out of my face and sat up slowly.

"It's just rain Paco. Not the end of the world," I replied getting out of bed and stretching. I walked over to the door and opened it looking at the sad dog.

"Do you need to walk?" I asked and Paco just sat there on my bed whining. I rolled my eyes. "Just water Pac, not poison," I said walking out onto the porch and letting the rain fall on my hand. Paco tilted his head to the side as though he were debating on whether or not he wanted to go outside. When the thunder cracked over the farm, lightening splitting the sky, is when he hid under the bed. I rolled my eyes again and walked out onto the porch to check the mail and pulled out a couple of letters. One of them from my father stating how proud he was of me and my farm, the other from someone I never met before. I read the letter over and over wondering who this person was, this wizard as he called himself in the letter. Wondering around the community center. Of course I was, I live in the same town as it. I thought to myself sarcastically and looked outside. I was kind of curious though. I really wanted to clear the air and find out anything about this man...Wizard? I shook my head, grabbed an umbrella, and closed the door behind me making my way to Cindersnap forest.

As I left my farm and made my way south, a large tower on a hill came into view. I cocked my head to the side. There was no way that anyone could be living in that crumbling tower. It looked as though it were ready to tumble over. I let out a sigh and made my way up the old stairs and to the front door testing the doorknob, my heart beating faster as the door opened. I stepped inside cautiously taking in everything that I saw when a man with dark purple hair approached me. I jumped, he literally popped out of nowhere. I took a step back, my senses tingling, and the older man leaned forward inspecting me.

"Um, are you~"

"Yes I am Rasmodius, or as others call me 'the wizard'," the older man replied an I took another step back.

"I see...Um...Did you need me for something?"

"I see great things in you. I have foreseen you bringing balance back to this town," he replied and I let out a laugh.

"No, no, I highly doubt that you see anything in me. I am a broken record trying to be revived by years of attention? Does that make sense? It did in my head at least." I replied and the wizard laughed and walked around me.

"No, I definitely can see something great in your future, even if you do not see it in yourself." I shook my head again.

"Moving on. I was wondering, you sent me a letter in the mail, mentioned something about the community center?" I began pacing around the tower looking at the wizard's collection of weird crap waiting for an answer.

"Well, mostly it was because I sensed a new presence at the community center and decided that it was time I introduced myself to the new citizen," he replied and I frowned.

"Really? A bit disappointing. I was kind of hoping that you would have been able to tell me what that note meant that I found in the community center," I said in a disappointed tone. Rasmodius frowned and looked at me confused.

"Note? What note?" He asked and I turned to him, brows furrowed.

"Well, yea, the note in the center? Maybe you could tell me about the creatures that live there?" I replied moving onto my next question.

"Hm...Could it be? Perhaps so?" Rasmodius replied talking to himself before turning back to me. I squared my shoulders.

"What?" I asked and he shook his head.

"Perhaps the note is still there. Yes, I will go and retrieve it," Rasmodius replied before disappearing. I stood there uncertain about what I was suppose to do in this strange man's house while he was off playing wizard. I paced around the tower looking at Rasmodius' extensive collection of spell books when I heard a sharp pop, Rasmodius appearing out of thin air. I jumped and he looked at the note carefully before looking up at my expecting face.

"It says 'we are the Junimos...keepers of the forest. We ask that you become one with the forest, and the forest will return to you what you give it'," Rasmodius replied and I cocked my head to the side. The crap was a Junimos? I thought to myself.

"Keepers of the forest? Become one with the forest? What could it mean?" He said out loud reading the note again, before looking around his tower. I shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably before I decided to speak up.

"Well, it has been very nice meeting you, however I have some things that I need to take care of, and perhaps some day we will meet up again," I replied starting to back out of the man's house when he looked at his cauldron then back up to me.

"Yes," he began slowly walking towards me. "Come here, look into the cauldron," he finished and I reluctantly walked over to him and peered into his cauldron, a horrible smell emitting from it. I glanced up at him.

"What about it?" I asked and he made his way over to the table on the far right side of the tower, grabbed a glass and walked back over to my side.

"This cauldron is filled to the brim with products of the forest. Perhaps this is what the Junimos were talking about," he replied and I cocked my head to the side.

"Or maybe you read the note wrong and that was not what they want you to do?" I suggested taking a step back.

"No this is good. This is a good thing, please take a drink from the cauldron," Rasmodius replied handing me the cup. I took a deep breath, my dad would be very disappointed in me for taking a drink of this man's strange water, but it didn't appear as though he were going to leave me alone until I took a drink. I dipped the cup in the cauldron, held my breath for a moment then chugged. It tasted as bad as it smelled.

"Now you should be able to understand the Junimos as well as I do," he replied, my head swimming, knees buckling, until finally I hit the floor.

When I awoke it was dark in the tower, Rasmodius was off in the corner hunched over a book. I picked myself slowly off the floor my head pounding, Rasmodius looked up at me.

"Finally awake?" He asked amusement in his voice. I glared up at him.

"Yes, no thanks from your death potion."

"It was not a death potion. It was essence of the forest to make you one with the forest."

"I think becoming one with the forest tastes terrible, and there are other ways to be 'one with the forest'. Such as not cutting down the trees? Ever think of that?"

"Oh relax kid. Go to the bar and have a drink, that will take care of your headache," Rasmodius barked before he walked up the stairs of his tower. I shook my aching head and marched out of the tower and through the forest towards the town. I cringed as the noise from the townspeople buzzed in my head, I already felt hungover and I haven't started drinking yet, I thought to myself as I pulled open the bar door and made my way to the counter. Emily smiled at me.

"Haven't seen you in a while Jill," Emily replied as she placed a glass in the front of me. I sat in the corner, head against the wall and asked for a scotch on the rocks.

"Yea, I've been a bit busy," I replied taking a grateful swig of the amber liquid, my head going right back against the wall.

"Are you alright? Work can't be that difficult for you can it? I'm not saying that farming is easy, I just~"

"No no, it's not the farming, that's actually pretty enjoyable, relaxing even. It's just between Marlon and his guild, and now this guy named Rasmodius...I think in all I got myself in way over my head you know?" I offered to Emily, and she gave me a strained smile.

"Well, both of them are very strange people, Rasmodius being the strangest of them. Most of us here just avoid them completely. They aren't exactly the best people to hang out with Jill," she replied a bit concerned. I shook my head and she poured me another glass of scotch.

"I don't think that either one of them can hurt me, or want to hurt me," I replied trying to reassure her. She poured me another glass of scotch.

"Of course, just be careful ok?" She asked before walking away. I gave a soulful nod before downing my drink and resting my head on the counter. Even after a few drinks my headache from Rasmodius' famous potion was still pounding away. I needed to stop drinking and make my way home. Sleep is what I needed, I learned a long time ago that drinking never solved the problems...But the cold touch of the bar felt so good against my head that it was painful thinking about raising my head. This counter feels soo good, I thought to myself when I felt a sharp pain in my side. I sat up quickly with a groan, eyes shut tight against the pain.

"What the shit?" I demanded opening my eyes slowly to see Shane sitting on the side of me glaring at me out the corner of his eye. I groaned again.

"You're in my spot again Ian," he replied placing his elbows on the counter, and knocking the freshly poured glass of scotch from Emily over. I shot up from the counter, scotch spilling everywhere, Emily and Gus looking up at the commotion. I let out a slow exhale, I was not in the mood for anyone's shit tonight.

"How is it that a man your age, which must not be that much older than myself, can be so tactless?" I demanded in a furious manner trying to dry up some of the scotch from my pants. Shane shrugged.

"I'm not here looking for friends," he replied precariously, and I clenched my teeth.

"I never said that I wanted to be your friend!" I exclaimed causing people in the bar to look up at us, Shane downed his beer and looked up at me from under his eyebrows.

"So what? You're going to lecture me about crossing the street and how not to hit women Mom?" He asked sarcastically and I shook my head starting to walk towards the bar door when I stopped, turned around, and made my way back to Shane. I saw his eyes shift towards me and I placed one hand on the counter the other on the back of his chair and bent low to his face our noses just an inch away.

"You know, I grew up with boys, I have brothers, they're annoying, I can deal with the verbal rudeness. I just brush it off, but the rude actions? I think you just hit your quota for the month," I began and Shane rolled his eyes.

"So what? You're going to make me apologize Mom?" I took a deep breath.

"No, because it would be meaningless to a person like you," I replied and Shane stood up slowly, towering over me.

"So then what's your problem Ian?" He said in a dangerously low voice bending forward.

"My problem is that it seems I run into you every time I leave my house," I answered.

"So don't leave your house then," he said and I grabbed the collar of his jacket, my chest hurting. I didn't understand how a man like Shane could be so rude to someone like me that he barely even met.

"Understand this Shane, you are NOT the only person in this town that's hurting. You are not the only one that wants to forget something. So do this entire town a favor and stop pretending that you're the only outcast with a problem. Understood?" I replied letting his jacket go.

"Believe me, your problems are nothing in comparison to mine. There are some things that someone like you could never understand, so do me a favor and just leave me alone. You're not worth my time, and in fact seeing your face actually makes me sick," he replied and I had finally had enough. I did it unconsciously. My hand struck his face hard enough to make an echo, Gus walked over to us.

"Is everything okay here?" He asked and Shane held his cheek glaring down at me. I took a deep breath, and slammed some money on the counter.

"I was just leaving,"I replied walking out the bar in a quick step. I was ready to go home, and the water works didn't start until I closed the front door behind me sinking to the floor. Paco walked up to me putting his head in my lap. I scratched behind his ears, drying my eyes.

"I don't understand Paco, how can someone be so cold and heartless?" I asked resting my head against his. Then it hit me, I left my umbrella at the bar, and I was not going back to get it less I strike Shane again. I'll call Gus later...Or go see him in the morning. I felt as though I owed him and Emily an apology for creating a scene at the saloon. I stood up slowly and made my way over to the bed, throwing myself face down. I felt sick. I felt like I didn't belong in this community. Maybe I should just stick to myself? Or maybe Analise was right...Maybe I didn't have the will to move and start new. Maybe I couldn't do this. Maybe I should go home. I thought to myself until I fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Linus

Spring 15

It was the early morning, still raining, and I was still hurting after that night with Shane. Gus assured me that it wasn't the first time that someone had gotten into a fight with Shane at the bar, and he assured me that it would not be the last. I made my way through the backwoods and across the river carefully, and into the mines for the first time since I met Marlon. I decided that I needed some kind of stress reliever, so here I was wondering down into the mines. Going to kill myself some slimes! I tried to hype myself up.

I climbed down the ladder and the mines were exactly what I expected them to be, dark, dank and filled with dangerous creatures. I killed off my first slime and smiled at myself, that felt good. This was exactly the stress reliever that I needed after a rough half of month. I felt that in these mines I could be myself, no one looking at me judging me.

I must have lost track of time at some point, because when I looked at my watch it was late in the evening. I stretched, I was both physically and mentally exhausted, and I made my way back up the mines via an old elevator shaft that was still working. I leaned against the cave wall waiting for the elevator when I could hear something in the mines. I looked up and felt the color drain from my face, a swarm of bats were heading towards me, and I pushed the up button for the elevator several times as though that would make it come down faster. I felt one bite after the other, and I swung my sword around my head trying to fend off the bats, when finally the elevator reached the floor I was on. I jumped into the elevator and hit the ground floor button. I leaned against the back wall of the elevator and slid down, my head pounding. I made a mistake exhausting myself, and I don't remember anything after the ding of the elevator reaching the ground floor.

I awoke the next morning in my own bed aching from head to toe. I got out of bed slowly putting a hand to my back feeling a large patch on it. I turned around trying to see my back, and racking my brain. Maybe Harvey found me and brought me home? He must have patched me up right? I thought to myself as I changed into my work clothes and headed out into the bright sunshine. I made my way to the mailbox and pulled my letters out for the day. There was only one letter, and it was a messily scrawled note stuffed into my mailbox.

Jill,

I was out in the mines last night doing a bit of cave hunting when I found you passed out in the elevator. You looked like you were hurt bad, so I applied some herbs to your wound and brought you home. Hope you don't mind, but I took a few of your crops. I'm sorry

~Linus

I read the note a couple of times before beginning my work. I finished my work as quick as I could, and made my way north to talk to Linus. I wanted to thank him for what he did for me, even though he didn't need to help me. When I made my way to the backside of Robin's house I could see Linus sitting out by his little campfire by himself, and I approached him carefully.

"Linus?" I started and he turned to me confused.

"Oh, hello Jill. How are you this fine morning?" He asked and I sat down next to him.

"I'm ok, how are you?" I asked and Linus shrugged.

"I'm alive," he replied and I let out a soft sigh.

"Linus, I really wanted to thank you for what you did for me yesterday," I said and he shrugged again.

"It was nothing Jill. You know, I've been in the mines before, and it's not exactly the safest place to go for someone who's not use to this area. Do you mind me asking why you went down there?" Linus asked looking at me out the corner of his eye. I looked down at my hands uneasily.

"Well..I had a very bad...Encounter the other day and I really just wanted to blow off some steam...I suppose I lost track of the time~"

"Jill, you have to be careful if you go down into the mines, you don't know what you will meet down there," Linus said in a cautious voice and I frowned. I felt like I had just disappointed my father.

"I'm sorry Linus...I just...I just wanted to get away from the conflict and I didn't know where else to go," I replied and Linus sighed.

"It's ok Jill," Linus replied and we sat in silence for a moment before he continued. "I wanted to ask you something Jill."

"Yes?"

"When you first moved into town, you were very kind to me, why?" He asked and I looked up at him with a smile on my face.

"My grandmother always told me that you never know what someone is going through, so you should always show them courtesy, even if they don't want to offer something of themselves. It's not technically any of my business," I answered and Linus smiled.

"I appreciate it, you not asking me what happened to my life, showing me the kindness you do, not judging me," he said and I nodded my head.

"She always said to treat others like you would want them to treat you," I said looking down at my hands again.

"You might not want to talk about any of it...But there were just a few observations that I noticed about you...Like the way you hesitate when you cross the bridge. You always look very nervous around the river and ocean side," he replied and I nodded a strained smile on my face.

"Yea...It's...Complicated.." I replied.

"Did you almost drown?" I shook my head.

"No...Well...Not exactly like that..."

"Not something you're ready to talk about right?"

"No...Not quite...I do get nervous around water, even though it happened years ago," I replied scratching the back of my head.

"I can understand that...If I could give you some advice?"

"Of course Linus."

"This is just my opinion, and it did work for me...But perhaps you should get back into the water?"

"Um...I don't know Linus~"

"I know it sounds scary, but you can't move on from the past if you can't embrace what frightens you," he replied and I looked at him...It sounded like good advice...But I was still afraid to take a chance in the water.

"And you?" I began. "Did you overcome your fears?"

"I overcame my past and embraced my new life Jill. Many people can't do that, but I made peace with myself," he replied standing up, I stood up with him. "Jill, if you ever find yourself afraid and not sure where to go, you know where to find me," he finished walking away. I nodded my head. Linus liked me...I must have been doing something right...Right? I thought to myself as I made my way back towards my farm. Linus was no different from me. An outcast, we weren't from here but we chose to make this place our home to start fresh, and some people were having trouble accepting that. I liked Linus. I found he was easy to talk to, even if he had a complicated past. Everyone had a secret right? It was not my place to ask him about it either, he would tell me of his own free will eventually


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

The End of Spring Finale

Spring 24

I sat at the edge of my fence looking out onto my farm. Spring would be ending soon and summer taking its place. I needed to harvest my crops quickly to make way for summer crops. I stretched. The last few days I stuck to myself, I didn't feel like talking to anyone; I didn't feel like looking at anyone. What was it? Twenty-four days and I was right back to my old self. A hermit, one that always stays in her shell and never looks at people. I had a few calls from Sam and Emily, none of which I took. I didn't need anyone pitying me, and I didn't want to go to the bar, I didn't want to look at Shane's stupid face, with his stupid stubble, and his stupid green eyes. I scolded myself. Damn you sure noticed a lot of his features for a jackass.

"Good morning to you Jill," a voice called out and I turned to look over my shoulder to the entrance of my farm. Lewis was walking towards me a broad smile on his face.

"Good morning Mayor," I replied hopping off the fence. "Is there something that I can do for you?"

"Actually, this is the thing Jill. We have a festival going on just south of your farm in the woods. It's the flower festival and I was hoping that you would attend. Considering you didn't join us for the egg festival," he explained. I frowned.

"I~ I don't know about all that Lewis. I'm not very comfortable with large crowds looking at me while I attempted to dance with my two left feet," I replied and Lewis shook his head.

"Oh Jill, you don't actually have to dance, not very many do. It's mostly couples that dance for the festival. A bit of a tradition for us old people you know?" I took a deep breath, and then I heard my sister's voice in the back of my head. You never were an outgoing person. That was kind of your biggest flaw. You never took the measures to be out there. I nodded my head.

"You promise that I don't have to dance right?" I asked a bit nervously.

"Of course not! Not unless a cute young man asks you to dance with him!" Lewis exclaimed with excitement. I felt my heart dropped. No one would ask me to dance with them, but I reluctantly followed Lewis to the fairgrounds south of the woods. Party music echoed through the forest and I could feel myself regretting agreeing to come here with Lewis. He led me over the makeshift bridge to a small clearing in the middle of the woods, the smell of food emanating from just about every one of the tables set up. In the middle of the clearing was a small space that was not being used, which I could only assume was going to be the dance floor for this 'flower dance festival'. Lewis made his way around the area checking in with people to make sure that they were enjoying themselves. I slunk to a far corner to try and blend in with my surroundings. I wanted to observe as an outsider, hopefully no one would notice me, and then I felt it. A cold shiver run down my spine as though someone were trying to glare holes in me. I glanced up to see who was here when I spotted him in a corner by himself at one of the tables, his brows were furrowed angrily trying to drill holes into my forehead. Assface! I stuck my tongue out at Shane like a two year old and turned back to look around the festival grounds. I glanced back at him out the corner of my eye only because I swore up and down that I saw a small hint of a smile creep across Shane's face, but there he was still glaring at everyone.

"Jill!" A voice exclaimed making me look up at a perky blond with an all too familiar smile across his face.

"Hello Sam," I replied and nodded his head back and forth.

"I wasn't expecting you to come to this festival after you didn't attend the last one."

"Yea...Well...I'm not comfortable with crowds...And well~"

"Will you be my dance partner? I use to watch my mom and dad do this dance every year for years and thought that one day that might be me." I flushed red.

"Oh no, I~I can't," I replied shakily and Sam just gave me an encouraging smile.

"It's fine! It's a simple dance ritual, nothing fancy."

"No~no I~I can't...I...I kind of have two left feet," I replied my heart beating faster, and I tried to back away but Sam grabbed my hand gently.

"I promise, it'll be fine. Just follow my lead, I took some pointers from my mom."

"Sam~" I started when he pulled me to my feet, leading me to center of the festival grounds.

"Just follow my lead," he replied quietly taking my hands and moving slowly. I felt the heat rise to my face, as I tripped my way around Sam. "Just try to relax, dancing is something based off of feeling." I nodded my head looking down at my feet, and Sam lifted my head. "Don't look at your feet, that's what's making you trip," he replied and glided me across the forest floor, picking me up when I would fall over. He laughed at me and I flushed red again, a smile across my face.

"Don't laugh at me."

"I'm sorry, it's just cute when you trip then blush," Sam replied pulling me a bit closer to his chest. "Are you at least enjoying yourself?"

"I think I am," I replied, and before long the music stopped and Sam led me off the floor towards one of the tables. Sebastian and Abigail looked up at us, Abigail leaning forward on the table grinning at Sam.

"Did you enjoy yourself Sam?" She asked and Sam flushed red.

"I did. Did you?" He asked looking at Abigail and Sebastian. Sebastian rolled his eyes.

"Yea, it was tons of fun," he replied sarcastically and Abigail smacked his arm.

"We did," she replied.

"Was that your first time dancing Jill?" Sebastian asked and I felt my face get hot.

"I don't dance Sebastian...I trip over my feet cause I have a clumsy demeanor," I answered when Lewis' voice began to resonate around the festival grounds.

"This concludes the Spring Flower Festival, and I hope that all of you enjoyed yourselves, and hope to see you for our next festival! Please be careful on your way home!"

"Can I walk you home Jill?" Sam asked turning to me, and I blushed again. "I'll take that as a yes," he replied taking my hand and leading me out the festival grounds. He stopped at my porch and looked down at his feet.

"I really had fun today Jill...I really was missing you...Seeing you I mean," he replied quickly then frowned running a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry. That came out a bit...weird.." I giggled at him and grabbed his hand.

"It's fine...I needed a bit of time to myself to...Think is all...I'm glad that I came out to the festival as well...I needed this," I replied and Sam blushed.

"Heh...That's great I was concerned that maybe I overstepped my bounds today."

"No, it was fun. Thank you," I said with a smile and Sam kissed my cheek.

"Heh, oh," was all I could say as I felt the heat rise to my face again, my hands going to my cheeks like a little school girl.

"Good night Jillian."

"Good night Samson," I said walking into my house and closing the door quietly behind me.

 _I thought that I wouldn't be able to move on, you know? Make friends, have a life again. I'm glad that I decided to come out to this little town in the valley. I hope that you and Mom are proud of me. You should be, I was kissed by a boy tonight. Yes a boy Daddy, no you may not come here and give him the Father Talk, don't try to embarrass me. Also, I don't know what this guy's problem is, but this guy named Shane is super rude and is always trying to tear me a new one. Any advice on that? Tell Mom I love her...And the others...I somewhat love them too._

 _~Jill_


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

My Analise of Your Mental State

Summer 8

I crept out of the mines carefully. I was getting pretty good at this being a monster slayer thing. I liked Marlon too, he told me a lot of strange stories from when he was my age. He made himself come off as this really old man, when in actuality he wasn't very much older than my father. I made my way towards the saloon. I was ready to reward myself with a drink after my spring harvest, and a toast to the beginning of summer. Emily smiled as I sat down at the counter.

"Hey Emily," I replied as she placed a glass on the counter for me.

"Not sitting in the corner today?"

"Why, so I can hit Shane across his smug ass face again?" I questioned shooting back the shot. She smiled.

"Shane has a bit of...A complicated past...I know that doesn't excuse his behavior," she replied pouring me another glass.

"And I wouldn't have a problem with it if he would just stop taking it out on me. I mean what is it about me that pisses him off? Is it because I'm a woman?!" I asked frustratedly and Emily leaned on the counter.

"Honestly, I think it's because you don't put up with his bullshit...Most people here just steer clear of him, you know? Don't deal with him," she replied pouring me another glass before walking away. I sipped at this glass slowly, thinking about what she said. Did I really come off that pushy? No, she didn't say pushy. What other way was there to describe my behavior? An ass. I was an ass. Oh god! I was exactly like Shane! Only...I wasn't as ass as him? I tilted my head to the side. Did that make sense? Was there a better way to say that? Probably not. I was so far into my thoughts that I didn't notice someone sit by me until I got an elbow to the shoulder. I looked over to see who was disturbing my line of thinking and frowned. Shane was sipping a beer looking at me out the corner of his eyes. I rolled my head to my shoulder, eyes closing in frustration.

"I'm not in 'your spot' Shane, what can you possibly want from me?" I asked in a very demanding voice, taking another drink from my glass. Shane took a gulp from his beer can before pointing at me with the same hand his beer was in.

"Did you know there was an Ian look a like running around town?" He asked, he already sounded drunk. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"What?" I asked, thinking that Shane was so drunk he was already seeing double of me.

"You know. A look a like? Someone that looks the exact same as someone else?" He replied with a roll of his eyes.

"Where did you see this look a like?" I asked, deciding that at this point he was drunk and I was just going to humor him before he decided he wanted to start yelling. Shane let out a burp, making me pull back a bit. He leaned forward.

"My aunt saw her around the lake," he answered cracking open another beer can. I put my head in my hand.

"So you didn't actually see this look a like did you?" I asked a bit amused that Shane was trying to think.

"Nope," he replied and I shook my head.

"So your aunt was just telling you something so you can make conversation with me then right?"

"Nope. I'm actually ready to puke talking to you right now."

"Assface."

"Bitch-Tit."

"The shit?"

"You started this."

"No, you did when you started acting like a little kid saying that I was 'in your spot'."

"What is it with you and air quotes?"

"What is it with you and being an asshole?" I asked polishing off my drink and Shane glanced at me out the corner of his eye. He pointed a finger at me and I raised an eyebrow waiting to snap at his rude comment that was trying to form in his head around the beer vapors. His finger fell and his eyebrows knitted together.

"I don't have to explain myself to you, and I don't have time to chat with someone like you." I shrugged as he stood up.

"I never asked you to explain yourself to me, and I never told you to sit next to me and chat me up," I replied sarcastically fishing out some money. Shane glanced over his shoulder at me.

"'Chatting you up' implies that you and I were considering dating, to which I have to say Hell No," he replied making his way towards his usual corner.

"Never said you had to. I don't see how anyone could tolerate you long enough to want to date you," I replied and I felt my heart drop. That was a bit harsh. Shane looked back up at me, his face looked like he was hurt, but it was hard to tell when he was drunk. I hesitated a bit, and walked over to him. He glanced up at me briefly.

"What?" He asked gruffly.

"I'm sorry...That was a bit mean. I didn't mean to~"

"Whatever. Don't you have a clone to eradicate or something?" He interrupted snidely. I nodded my head.

"Right. I tried, so don't say I never did," I replied walking out towards the bar door when it opened, a red head walking through the door. My face dropped.

"I told you there was a look alike running around like you Ian! Although, I have to give you a prop or two, not that fond of red heads," Shane shouted from his corner.

"You shut up," I replied pointing at Shane before turning back to the girl that walked into the bar. "Analise, what are you doing here?" I asked and the girl folded her arms over her chest.

"Is that anyway to treat your sister Jillian?" She asked skirting past me and making her way to the bar. I followed her.

"You never answered my question."

"I just want to check on you. See how you're doing. Dad said that you sent a letter saying you were doing well."

"That was the purpose of sending the letter. So what are you really doing here?" I asked again and could see Shane in the corner watching us over his beer can. Analise turned to me a smile still plastered on her pale face. She leaned over pinching my cheek.

"Now now Jill. I really just wanted to check up on you really. Please tell me how are things going here."

"No," I replied a bit more firmly than I expected and I could see Shane grin at me. I turned to him. "Would you mind your own business?"

"Good to know that you're rude to everyone, not just me," Shane replied. Analise frowned.

"Come on Jill, don't be mean to your boyfriend and don't push me out."

"First of all," I replied raising a finger to Analise, "he is not my boyfriend. Second of all, I am not going to have you come here and psycho-analyze me as though I am one of your freaking science experiments!" I exclaimed and started to walk out the saloon, Analise skipping along side me.

"Come on Jill! We use to be so close!"

"You heard the past tense in your voice. USE to. Meaning not any longer. Go home Analise," I demanded making my way towards my farm. Analise still skipping alongside me.

"Actually I can't."

"Why not? I made sure the bus was fixed. Pam will hook you up."

"I bought my ticket through the 11th. I leave the following morning." I groaned. She shows up uninvited and decides that I can just house her for three days. Not on my watch. She wanted to barge into my life like she was some PrimaDonna and try to get me to spill my guts. That wasn't going to happen. Not like this. She had another thing coming.

Summer 10

I woke up early and made my way out of my bedroom and into the living room where Analise was on the couch still sleeping. I grinned at her. She wanted to know what was up with my life, she was going to get a crash course on farm life. I began clicking lights on, it was about five in the morning, and made my way into the kitchen, Paco following me barking. Good boy, knew you loved me for a reason. I thought to myself as I heard Analise stirring on the couch. She looked up at me.

"It's five in the morning Jill, what are you doing?" She asked grumpily.

"My morning work Ana, what did you expect? I could sleep in and my plants would magically get watered? That my baby chick would feed herself?" I questioned in a sarcastic tone.

"Do you have to do it so early?"

"If you don't like the way I do things then go home. No one told you that you had to come. You did that on your own," I replied and Analise made her way towards the kitchen yawning.

"You need to get laid or something, because your attitude bites." I rolled my eyes taking two eggs out the fridge. "I'll take two over easy," she added and I furrowed my eyebrows at her.

"Make your own eggs. I'm not your maid," I replied taking my eggs and making my way towards the living room kicking her stuff off the sofa. She frowned.

"Did I do something wrong to you in the past?" She asked scrambling some eggs. I let out a sigh.

"You really don't get it do you?" I asked and she turned to me.

"Look, I gave you your space when I got home, I don't understand why you can't open up to me," she replied sitting next to me. I sighed. "Did I ask all the wrong questions?"

"Ana, it's not what you did or didn't ask...It's the manner in which you presented it," I began and she looked at me confused. I made my way back to the kitchen to put my plate in the sink. "I didn't need another psychologist...I needed a sister," I finished making my way out the door and on the farm leaving Analise sitting there alone to think.

Analise did not leave the house until I was done with my farm work and sitting out on my fence watching my baby chick peck around the yard for the first time. She sat down next to me looking at her feet.

"Jill...I really did come over here to see how you were doing. I wanted to make amends between us."

"How can you make amends for something you didn't know you were making amends for?"

"I found the newspaper clippings you kept under your bed Jill. I knew it was bad...But I did~"

"That's because you were on the east coast, partying like a college kid," I interrupted, and Analise sighed.

"I know. I should have come home right away...I didn't. Jill, you have to understand that I'm sorry. I SHOULD have been there for you and I wasn't. I'm not trying to psych you out or anything, I just wanted you to know that I am there for you," she replied and I glanced at her out the corner of my eye. I sighed.

"I guess I was being selfish when I started ignoring you. You were trying to live your life and I was just trying to forget everything," I said fidgeting my hands. Analise put an arm around my shoulders.

"I forgive you."

"You bitch," I replied with a smile.

"I miss this."

"I did too."

"Did you talk to anyone about your problem?" She asked following me as I began to leave my farm.

"I did...He's a nice man..." I started slowly.

"The blond guy you like?" She asked and I felt my cheeks flush pink.

"No...No there is nothing between us, we just had a moment is all..." I replied nervously. Analise smiled.

"We'll work on that later. So?"

"I did. He's an older man named Linus. He and I aren't so different, we actually found that it was easy to talk to each other." Analise nodded her head.

"What did he say?" I took a deep breath.

"He thinks I should jump right back into the water."

"And?"

"Eeeh~ yea, I tried, and I get the flashes, and I freeze, and if I freeze in the water and drown no one will be around to save me and none of my family will know what happened to me," I rambled on as we stopped by the lake in Cindersnap forest. Analise stopped me by grabbing my shoulders.

"Jill calm down. This isn't something you have to do alone. I'm right here." I shook my head.

"I can't...I just...I keep seeing their faces..Ana...I can't." Analise nodded her head and looped her arm around mine leaning against my shoulder. I leaned my head against her's.

"I understand...Whenever you decide that you're ready just call me. I'm just a bus ride away."

"I know...Thank you," I replied as we sat down. Analise smiled putting a hand to her chin.

"So that guy last night in the bar? He was kinda hot," she replied and I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Ana, there were a few guys in the bar last night."

"The scruffy looking one that you cussed at." I blushed.

"It's funny that you like him, he's an ass," I replied and Analise laughed at me.

"I'm going to miss you when I leave, which I suppose gives you grounds to have a little fun with those two men that like you." I shook my head.

"No one likes me like that Ana, don't even try to look deep into that either!" I exclaimed feeling my face grow hot again. Analise laughed and layed down on the ground.

"When you wake up in the middle of the night screaming, just note that the scruffy man in the bar is willing to hold you," she replied and I looked at her. It was hard to tell if she was messing with me or not. She was very intelligent and knew how to read people pretty well...Could she really have seen something that I didn't? No. No, not even. Shane hated the world...Right?


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Luau

Summer 11

Analise danced around my house the following morning trying to get her things together before she left for home. I tilted my head to the side.

"Are you sure you want to leave?" I asked handing her a bag. She nodded her head.

"I have patients that are going to start wondering if I abandoned them," she replied dropping her bag next to the door.

"I mean, you're annoying and everything~"

"Yea I know. You want me out the house," she replied with a smile, I grinned at her when there was a knock at my door.

"It's probably that blond," she replied as I answered the door, to find Lewis standing there.

"Good morning Mayor. How are you?" I asked glaring at Analise who was giggling in the background.

"Jill, I just wanted to remind you of our luau, and the communal potluck today on the beach. Please tell me that you are coming," Lewis replied and Analise popped up from behind me with a large grin on her face.

"Of course she will be attending! She's going to see me off before she heads over, and she is very proud of her peppers that she grew," she replied for me. I felt the color drain from my face.

"Well...I don't know about all of that Ana," I replied and Lewis smiled.

"Good! I can't wait to see you there!" He exclaimed leaving my house. I turned to Analise in fear.

"I can't Ana."

"Jill, you'll be fine. I promise."

"Come with me," I replied, almost begging. She frowned.

"But Jill~"

"I will buy you another ticket, I will send letters of apologies to all your patients. Please Analise, please come with me," I begged and Analise put her hands on my shoulders.

"Ok. Ok, calm down Jill. I'll come with you. And you'll see that nothing is going to go wrong," she replied walking me out my house and into town. "We'll just sit on the beach, enjoy the music, and the food. Maybe converse with your neighbors," she offered as we made our way to the beach. I froze and Analise was tugged backwards. She turned to me with a frown and tugged on my arm.

"Jill, it's ok. Like I said, we'll just sit on the beach," she replied pulling me down the bridge and onto the beach. The entire town was on the beach enjoying themselves, Marnie was standing in the front of a large pot. I felt my heart speed up, my hands beginning to sweat. Analise squeezed my hand.

"Just try to relax," she said as she sat me at a table. I nodded my head. Yea, just needed to relax. Just needed to take a breath. I thought to myself and I looked up. I could see Linus in the distance, off by himself. He was right. I needed to get into the water to move past my fears. I stood up slowly, and Analise broke away from her conversation with Alex and Haley to look at me.

"Are you okay?" She asked standing up and I nodded.

"I want to look at the water," I said nervously. She took a step back.

"Do you want me to come with you?" She asked and I could see Shane on the boardwalk by himself. I shook my head. I didn't want anyone to think that I was helpless, even though at this point was absolutely terrified thinking that the pier was going to collapse on me.

"No...I...I need to do this...Alone.." I replied walking towards the pier slowly. I had only ever been to the beach once, to meet Willy and fix the bridge, after that I never set foot on the beach again. I ran a hand through my strawberry blond hair, my blue eyes scanning every board that creaked when I stepped on it. I stopped at the end of the pier looking into the water, still seeing their faces. I took a deep breath trying to slow my heart rate.

"Ok! We're done here!" I exclaimed to myself, still not ready to jump into the water, and made my way off the pier quickly, Shane making his way towards one of the tables himself. He looked at me confused.

"You look like someone just told you that you are being hunted," he remarked and I gave him a shaky grin.

"Yea...Ha...I guess so.." I replied and he turned fully towards me.

"Are you okay?" He asked and I nodded my head.

"Uh-huh," I said, and he motioned like he wanted to grab my shoulder, but stopped himself and scratched the back of his head instead, then grabbed a beer off the table.

"Well...If...Um, that guy that's hunting you finds you here, you know you can..." Shane began before trailing off and cracking open his beer taking a deep gulp from the can.

"What?" I asked looking up at him. He shook his head.

"Nothing...Nevermind...later," he replied walking back onto the boardwalk towards the end of the pier. Analise came dancing towards me.

"I saw you chatting up Mr. Scruffy!" She exclaimed happily. I shook my head.

"Not exactly," I replied sitting at the table Analise frowned.

"Why?"

"I don't know. Ana, there's something about him that I can't exactly place, but...He looks like I've seen him before," I replied playing with the cup on the table.

"I think you're just in shock that you just made your way out onto the water."

"Above. Baby steps Ana," I replied and she nodded.

"Ok., of course," she replied and I looked up at the sky, dark clouds rolling in.

"Jill. Hi Honey, can you do me a favor?" Marnie asked walking up to me. I nodded my head.

"Sure Marnie, anything you need."

"Lewis wants to bring the Luau to an end because there's a storm rolling in. Can you go and grab Shane for me?" She asked and I took a deep breath giving her a shaky smile.

"Sure of course," I replied and Analise grabbed my arm.

"Just relax ok? Take as many deep breaths as you need walking on the boardwalk," she replied and I nodded my head making my way back down the pier towards Shane. I could feel myself shaking as the waves slammed against the pillars that held up the pier. Shane looked up at me as I stood next to him shaking.

"Yes?" He asked, his words slurred. How many has he had? I thought to myself.

"Your aunt asked me to come pull you off the pier as there's a storm rolling in. Lewis wants to finish up this festival before it starts to rain," I replied and Shane nodded his head.

"Awesome. You can go now, I'll make my way over when I feel like it," he replied gruffly. I nodded my head.

"Ok," I replied starting to walk away. I was just about to set foot on the beach when I saw everyone turn to look out onto the water. I stood confused for a moment before I heard the cracking of the pier, a round of gasps and shouting. I whirled around, seconds before Shane fell into the water. I felt my heart stop, everything seeming to move in slow motion. I saw Alex and Sam beginning to run towards the water, but I beat them to it. My body moved on its own, my instincts taking control of all of my movements, running down the pier, diving in the water trying to find Shane. He was drunk, if I didn't make it there fast enough he would surely not come back up from under the water. I heard Analise shout my name out before I dove below the waves. I broke the surface of the water hauling Shane behind me, the rain had already begun, and the tide was growing stronger as I tried to make my way back towards the beach. It was like reliving that day all over again, only this time I knew where I was going. Alex grabbed Shane's arm as I reached the beach helping me pull him out the water.

"Is he breathing?!" Jas shouted ready to cry. I put my ear to his chest, no, he didn't have a heartbeat. I felt my heart sink, and started chest compressions. Still nothing. I tilted his head back beginning mouth to mouth, followed by more chest compressions. Come on! Breath you asshat! I thought, more mouth to mouth followed by chest compressions until finally Shane turned over coughing out a mouthful of sea water. I sat back on my heels, my head hanging down. Marnie was crying helping Shane sit up.

"Oh my god thank god you're ok," she replied, and Jas threw her hands around Shane.

"I was worried that you wouldn't wake up!" Jas exclaimed. Analise put a hand on my shoulder.

"Are you ok Jill?" She asked and I felt every part of me shaking. I was okay. It was okay. You did it. You went in the water. You saved Shane, you can still swim. There's nothing wrong with you...Right? I thought to myself.

"Hey. Jill?" Sam asked bending down to look at me. I picked my head up mechanically. I saw their faces, I saw their mouths moving, but I didn't hear anything. Nothing seemed to be working right. I stood up slowly, making my way around people, and shaking off Analise. I was just walking, in a daze, I didn't know where I was going, just that I was going somewhere. I needed to get away from all these people, and the rain was not bothering me one bit.

Later that evening

I was sitting out by the lake, knees close to my chest, head propped on my knees, arms wrapped around my knees. I knew that I had been sitting out by the lake in Cindersnap forest for a while because the sun had set a long time ago, and the rain had pretty much subsided and was a light drizzle. I wasn't even thinking, I was just sitting there staring out at the water, when I could feel someone sit next to me. I glanced at the person out the corner of my eye to see Shane sitting there.

"Out late huh?" He asked and handed me a beer. "Here, have a cold one." I took the beer looking at it uncertainly.

"Bruh...Life," he began slowly, and I looked at him again. "I went over to your place to thank you for earlier...But your sister said that you left to be alone and never came back. She seemed a bit worried about you."

"I'll apologize to her later," I replied opening the beer and hesitating, staring at the beer uneasily.

"Do you ever feel like you're in a hole that you can't get out of? I feel like no matter how hard I try, no matter what I do I can't climb out of that hole," he replied taking another drink from his beer. I turned to him slowly.

"Yea. Like the hurt that's there just won't heal," I replied. I did know what he was talking about. I did know how it felt. I felt like I failed people, that I should have been able to do more.

"You have problems don't you?" He asked suddenly, and I felt my grip on my beer tighten. "I-I don't mean it in a bad way either...It's just that I noticed that you're really nervous in the water...Or around it. I guess I never really noticed how bad it was until I saw you at the Luau. What happened?"

"Um...Look Shane...It's nothing personal...It's just...I'm not completely comfortable talking about it...Really to anyone...I can give you a vague idea of what happened...But that's it.." I replied uneasily, and Shane let his feet hang right above the water's surface.

"I understand," he replied and I took a deep breath...What do I tell him?

"I use to be an instructor. I worked at a local community center teaching swimming...Um...The center raised money for a trip to a local island...And um...It's just...I can't.." I replied hearing my voice crack. Shane put a hand on my shoulder.

"I understand. I lost my parents a few years back and it still hurts to talk about it. I guess that's when my life really took a turn for the worst," he replied, polishing off his beer and pulling out another one. I swear to god this guy had a cheat code for infinite beers.

"Yea, it is hard to talk about it," I replied and downed the beer. Shane turned to me impressed.

"Quick drinker. Woman after my own heart," he replied and I blushed. He was so drunk right?

"I um...I don't really care for the taste of beer," I replied, finally unfolding myself and letting my feet just barely dangle above the water.

"Hmph...You like that hard liquor huh you alcoholic?" Shane replied in a joking manner. I smiled.

"You know all about that don't you?" I replied with a chuckle. Shane leaned to the side, his head hanging.

"I'm the king of that," he replied looking at me out the corner of his eyes. I stood up slowly.

"I should be getting home. It was great talking to you," I replied and Shane stood up as well.

"Yup, my liver's begging me to stop anyway," he replied shoving his hands in his pockets. Neither of us moved. It was as though we wanted to leave, but didn't want to return to our lives. Shane turned to me.

"It was kinda good talking to you too when we aren't shouting and throwing insults at each other," he replied stepping forward.

"Yea...I guess it was...But I suppose it won't last very long would it?" I replied looking up at him.

"Probably not," he replied leaning forward. I mentally panicked, but my body didn't. Our lips met, I could taste the beer on his lips, although I knew that mine couldn't taste any different. The kiss didn't last long. We both pulled away at the same time, turning bright red, our faces mirrored each other. We both thought the same thing. This was a mistake. We shouldn't have done that.

"I-I'm sorry for that Shane. I-I don't know what came over me...I just...I~" Shane shook his head.

"It was a mistake."

"Y-yes," I agreed, and I could see Shane's jaw tighten, and he scratched the back of his head before shoving his hands into his pockets again.

"You should probably get back home, Analise is probably worried about you," Shane replied making his way towards Marnie's ranch. I nodded my head. Yea I should get back, I thought to myself still watching Shane walk away as I made my way slowly towards my farm. He lost his parents a few years back...He looked so sad, and he was trying to hide his pain with sarcasm and drinking. I did feel bad for him. No one else saw his pain, but I did...Because I was heading down the same path as him, only I had someone who cared enough to talk to me about my problems. Shane didn't really have anyone to talk to. I'm sorry Shane.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Adrenaline

Summer 15

I rolled my eyes as I kept finding 'love notes' from Analise hidden throughout my house as well as my chicken coop. I swear this girl was put on this earth in my family to either get under my skin or try to make me really love her. Sometimes she did annoy me, other times I couldn't live without her. Such as this note: Jill! Did you know you had a small pond on your property? You should clean that shit so you can get your swim back on! Make yourself look SEXY for that scruffy man next door, clearly you two have a thing that you need to discuss. Love you! Analise!

I rolled my eyes and shoved the note in my pocket. What did she think I was going to accomplish with Shane? He was broken, I was broken, you really couldn't put two broken things together and hope that things would fix themselves. We both had issues that we needed to work on before we could even think about making a real life for ourselves. I closed my eyes and glared at myself. What was I thinking?! The other night was a mistake, we both agreed on that, there could absolutely be no chemistry between us! Right? RIGHT? Oh god I feel sick. I thought to myself as I leaned forward the tree next to me being my support. I took several deep breaths, was I that messed up that I didn't know how to sort through my feelings? Oh God I'm just like that sad kid from the Crowded Lab.

"Oh god what the fuck is wrong with me?" I replied out loud.

"Are you hung over? Or did I step into something that you would rather discuss with your boyfriend?" A voice asked me and I looked up confused at first before jumping and responding with an "Oh God!"

"Hey! I'm not that ugly," Shane replied a bit hurt at my response.

"No, no! That's not it at all. You aren't ugly," I replied, blushed at the compliment I just unintentionally gave him, then quickly changed the subject. "And what do you mean discuss anything with my boyfriend? I don't have a boyfriend!" I protested. Shane cracked a small grin.

"Well, I thought after the way you and Sam hang out that you two were definitely, well, you know," Shane replied making his fingers intertwine. I felt the heat rush to my face.

"Shane! That is a very personal subject! And not nearly the truth!" I exclaimed and Shane shrugged.

"Well, don't mention that to Sam. You might make him cry," he replied. I took a deep breath.

"Don't you have a manager to torment?" I asked furrowing my eyebrows. Shane shrugged again.

"Meh. Whatever, you can't get rid of me that easy, although I could make you disappear." I cocked my head to the side.

"What does that mean?" I asked crossing my arms over my chest.

"Nothing. You probably won't ever know either," he replied walking away. I stood there confused for a bit. What the hell did that mean? Should I be afraid? Sh-should I keep my windows locked? I thought to myself and stopped. I straightened up. I could hear footsteps from behind. I turned and looked over my shoulder. I didn't see anything within the forest, but I knew that there was someone there watching me. I took a deep breath and made my way out the forest and towards the beach. Willy wanted me to go fishing with him, he had said that he had a few techniques that he wanted to teach me, since he had no kids of his own to pass the art on to. I didn't want to be late to meet him, so I did not have time to find out what was following me. Instead I decided that it was just a forest critter running away to hide. Instead of thinking about the forest, I was focusing on how I was going to stay above water without having a meltdown. This would be the first time I would go out fishing. I think I could do this. If I could mentally dive into the rolling seas to save a drunk man then I should be able to fish right? Yea, should be good. I thought making my way onto the beach nervously. Willy looked up at me from the pier and smiled.

"I'm glad you came Jill, I was thinking that you might not at first," he replied and I gave him a kind smile.

"I can't just make a promise to meet someone and not meet them," I replied and Willy lead me out onto the pier, beginning to explain some techniques about handling a fishing rod. I tried to keep up with him before shaking my head and turning to him confused.

"Um...I'm kind of a hands on kind of learner. Is there anyway that you can teach the techniques while...I don't know actually using the fishing rod? Does that make sense?" I asked and Willy laughed.

"Yes, I was the same way," he replied and sat down at the end of the pier. I hesitated for but a moment, before sitting next to him, and we fished the entire afternoon.

That Evening

I sat at the bar chatting with Emily, as she was was discussing a dinner that she had with Clint. I smiled.

"He really likes you," I replied sipping my drink and Emily blushed.

"Well...I don't know about all that..." She replied softly. I giggled.

"It's cute," I said, then grew quiet.

"Are you okay?" She asked and I cringed. I hesitated a bit before looking up at her.

"Do you...Ever get the feeling that you're being followed out by the woods?" I asked slowly and Emily frowned.

"Yea, I usually don't like to go out alone in Cindersnap woods," she replied. "Why?"

"Earlier today it felt like someone was following me."

"You need to be careful, you live alone. I hate it when Haley goes out by the river."

"Why does she need to be careful?" Shane asked sitting next to me jumping into the conversation.

"Jill's being followed Shane, be a man and protect her," Emily replied with a frown. Shane shook his head.

"She's an ass! She can take care of herself!" Shane replied taking a drink from his beer that Gus brought him. Emily scolded Shane.

"That is not very gentleman like," she replied walking away. Shane glanced at me out the corner of his eye.

"You really think someone's stalking you?" He asked and I shrugged.

"I don't know. I would like to think that no one is...But I just had this creepy feeling after you left for work. What if they were watching us? Oh my god what if they're after you?"

"Would you calm down! My god you're over thinking things and don't need to be!" Shane exclaimed slapping his hand against his forehead. I turned to him.

"Shane! Stalking is a very serious thing that happens...Right?" Shane leaned on the counter, his head in his hand looking at me confused.

"You know, you sound like you're very smart until you say things with a question that makes me question your state of mind."

"Huh?" Shane shook his head.

"Look, you're like what? Four nine?" "Five five. Not all of us can be giants like certain assholes." "Regardless, you're so short that no one would even see you to want to stalk you." I bit the inside of my cheek.

"You know, I want to take your words to heart, but I just feel like I get insulted every time you talk to me."

"It's a talent."

"That's what you call it?"

"Well, apparently there's nothing else that this mouth can do that's not sarcastic."

"That's not what it seemed like the other day," I replied slowly, and Shane shot me a warning glare. I raised my eyebrows and took another sip from my drink.

"We talked about that remember?" Shane shot in a low voice.

"This is true, we did, but I can't help but feel like you're not all sarcasm and mean. I mean...That kiss said otherwise," I replied and mentally scolded myself. I was flirting with Shane, and he apparently did not like my method. His hand tightened around the beer can.

"Are you sure you don't want to be my big strong bodyguard?" I questioned. I think I officially had too many drinks.

"Pretty sure, that right now, I don't want anything to do with you. You keep your mouth shut about that night. Understood?" Shane replied in a dangerous voice. I frowned.

"That's not nice. You didn't enjoy the other night?" I asked sounding hurt, but was strictly just picking on him, which I took too far. I ducked as he threw his beer at me. Gus and Emily both looked up as I shot away from the bar and out the door, the glass I was drinking out of hitting the door as I slammed it closed. I took a deep breath and poked my head back into the bar.

"That's not very nice!" I shouted and slammed the door again when another beer can came flying at my head, followed by Gus' voice.

"Damnit Shane! One more and you will see yourself out of here and never coming back!"

"Oo," I muttered under my breath. Guess I shouldn't get Shane into any more trouble and just go home...Where the stalkers are...The ones that are going to get me. Nope, Shane was right. They would not want to stalk someone like me. Average, short, and a farmer. A plain life, with a plain set of activities. No one would waste their time stalking me. I thought to myself as I made my way onto my farm, stopping. There were those footsteps again. I felt my heartbeat pick up the pace. I didn't dare look over my shoulder, and made my way up the stairs of my porch to the front door, fighting with the lock on my door when I felt a cold shiver down my spine, and a hand run along my hip. I froze, my breathing growing erratic, and I could feel the stalker's hot breath on the back of my neck as they spoke.

"You made a mistake coming to this valley. Step into your shower and I'll show you the reason why~," they said running a finger along the back of my neck. I cringed and swatted their hand away.

"No! Noo~!" I shouted waving my hands in the front of me before I took off running off my farm, only the stalker's laughter could be heard. I didn't stop running until I ran into someone, both of us falling backwards.

"Why is it that every time I see you I always get hurt?" Shane muttered standing up, and helping me to my feet, and I grabbed Shane by his jacket collar.

"I don't want to go home! I can't!" I exclaimed and Shane let out a frustrated sigh shaking his head.

"Damnit! Emily has you all freaked out about this pretend stalker," Shane replied angrily starting to walk away. I followed him grabbing his arm.

"It's not pretend! They caught me at the front door on my farm!" I exclaimed and Shane let out a sigh.

"Are you sure that maybe, it's possible that you're a light weight and can't hold your liquor as well as you think? Maybe you just imagined the whole thing?" I took a step away from Shane slightly hurt.

"No, I most certainly did not. I don't want to go home, I don't feel comfortable there. They're watching me while I shower," I said and Shane let out another sigh along with the words: "Oh boy, ok, what if I walk you home and make sure you get inside your house safely?"

"Sleep on the sofa?" I asked hopefully.

"No," Shane replied bluntly, I frowned.

"Maybe Emily will let me stay with her then," I replied and Shane let out an angry growl grabbing me by the arm and walking me back to my farm. I pulled back, trying to break his grip, which wasn't a success as he was stronger than I was.

"Shane wait! No, I really don't want to go back there!" I exclaimed as he dragged me down the dirt path back onto my farm.

"There is nothing here Jill! See? No one around! No one's watching you, now unlock your damn door and go to bed!" Shane exclaimed shoving me towards the door. I felt myself shaking. I felt as though I was cornered again, that they were waiting for me to fall so they can make their move. I pulled my keys out, my hand shaking so much that I couldn't put the keys in the lock. Shane grabbed my hand and pulled the keys out my hand unlocking the door. He rolled his eyes and pushed me through the door.

"See? Nothing here Jill. No one's watching you," Shane replied flicking the light switch on. I glanced around the room. He was right, no one was in the house, but I still didn't feel comfortable.

"Please stay?" I begged, and Shane let his head fall back and released another frustrated sigh.

"No. Let me lay this out in terms that you might understand. There is nothing going on between us. I am not staying with you, because there is NO stalker. If you're that freaked out call your boyfriend. Otherwise there is nothing going on here. Good Night," Shane replied a bit forcefully before walking out the house the door slamming behind him. I jumped and stood in the middle of my living room looking around, waiting for something to jump out at me. Maybe Shane was right. Maybe this was all in my head. I thought to myself as I made my way to the bathroom then stopped...I couldn't shower without thinking that someone was watching me. I took a deep breath and shook the thought out of my head, closing the bathroom door behind me. I just needed to keep in my mind that there was no one there, no one watching me.

The next day

I was curled up on the sofa, the tv blaring the news when there was a knock on my door. I froze. Don't move and they won't think you're home.

"Ian, open the door I know you're in there I can hear the tv," Shane called banging on the door again. I stood up slowly and made my way to the door.

"Goddamn did you sleep last night? You look like shit," he replied making his way into my house.

"No," I replied rubbing my eyes.

"I also noticed your crops were looking dry."

"I haven't left the house all day." Shane closed his eyes.

"Oh my god!" He replied in a loud growl. "Are you seriously still on this crap about a stalker? Jill! This valley doesn't have any kind of activity other than earthquakes, and even that we don't have very often." I threw my head back.

"Look! I get it! You don't believe me! But there is someone out there, and it's making me uncomfortable, and you know where the door is. So stop worrying about me and just continue your day. Whatever happens to me is my fault right?" I asked sourly pulling my knees to my chest and folding my arms over my knees. Shane closed his eyes and let out a low sigh.

"I'm sorry...I'm not exactly good with people, and I don't expect people to come to me with their problems. Are you really that afraid?" Shane asked sitting next to me on the couch. I glanced at him.

"Yes. I am," I replied softly.

"Do you really think that me staying is going to make a difference?"

"...I don't know..." Shane inhaled slowly.

"Fine...I'll go grab a spare set of clothes and make my way back here."

"You really will stay with me?"

"ONLY this night...Only because I felt bad after yelling at you last night."

"You really aren't that mean are you?"

"Don't push your luck Ian," Shane replied walking out the door. I smiled. He had a soft spot for certain things...Or people. I made my way around the house trying to make it look a little decent so that Shane didn't have another thing to judge me for.

Once I was finished I sat back down on the sofa leaning against the armrest, feeling sleep trying to overtake me, when there was a knock on the door. Damn that was fast, I thought to myself as I went to open the door, but it wasn't Shane. It was an older blond man, with a scrappy beard, wearing a beat up hoodie. I clung to the door ready to slam it closed on this man.

"C-can I help you?" I asked nervously and the man smiled at me.

"I hope you can. I'm looking for Mayor Lewis and was hoping you could tell me where he might be," the man replied, I let out an internal sigh of relief and nodded.

"Yea, you should be able to find him either around the community center or in the saloon," I replied and the man nodded.

"Thank you very much," the man replied walking away. I closed the door behind me and felt myself slide to the floor. I was so nervous, and knowing that there was someone stalking me didn't make me first at trusting someone. I jumped when the door started to open, pushing me out the way. I whirled around and threw a punch, Shane grabbing my wrist.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" He shouted spinning me around and crossing my arms over my chest trying to calm me down.

"I already said I'm uneasy!" I shouted fighting back tears, trying to pull away from Shane.

"Fuck kid!" Shane exclaimed and I could feel my feet coming off the floor and he walked me over to the sofa setting me down. I curled up pulling my knees into my chest watching him. He ran a hand through his hair. "You really are a fucking mess." I looked down at the floor.

"I really can't help it Shane. I feel uneasy every time I turn around. What kind of creep lives in this valley?" I asked and Shane leaned back, resting his arms along the back of the sofa.

"I'm sure quite a few creeps," Shane replied nonchalantly. I turned to him slowly.

"You know, you're very reassuring right?"

"I try to be." I shook my head.

"Whatever," I mumbled.

"So what do you do for fun at this ramshackle farm of yours?"

"I take very good care of my farm, and spend quite a bit of my free time...Reading.."

"Reading? Are you serious?"

"As a heart attack."

"Or a stalker?"

"Ha. Ha." I replied a bit sarcastically.

"So...Basically just...Sleep the day away," Shane drew out, glancing at me. I rolled my eyes.

"Fine, I'll grab you some spare blankets."

"Are they like spare ribs?" Shane asked sarcastically.

"Yes Shane. That's exactly it," I replied standing on my toes to reach the top shelf to pull blankets down when I heard a loud clank hit the floor. Shane glanced over his shoulder at me.

"Should I call Harvey?" He called over, but I didn't respond as I was looking at the set of three keys that fell to the floor. That was right, I was so busy trying to immerse myself into my new life that I forgot the promise I made to him.

"Are you ok?" Shane asked and I looked up at him slightly confused.

"What? Yea. I'm fine. I was just thinking. Good night Shane, thanks for staying with me," I replied quickly shoving the blankets at him and making my way to my bedroom. I dropped the keys on my bedside table feeling crappy that I forgot what I promised him. I laid down on my bed thinking, staring at my ceiling. It was time I called Jager, we needed to sit down and have a long talk, and I hope that he wouldn't be offended that I waited this long to call him.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Jäger

Summer 17

I woke up the next morning, scrubbing the dishes in my sink loudly hoping that Shane would wake up from the noise, but he never moved. I let out a frustrated sigh and made my way over to the sofa crossing my arms. Shane was passed out face down on the couch, a soft snoring coming from his face. I let out a soft sigh.

"I am so going to be the bad guy for waking you up early on the weekend," I muttered to myself and walked over to him, placing a hand on his back gently.

"Shane?" I asked only getting a grunt from him. I shook him a little more forceful. "Hey, wake up."

"Are you seriously waking me up early after forcing me to spend the night here?" Shane demanded throwing the blankets over his head. I tilted my head to the side.

"I have to go into town today Shane. You can't sleep on my couch forever, right?"

"Are you that terrified that the stalker is going to get you that you're going into town?" Shane asked from under the covers.

"No...I have to meet with someone in the city," I replied and Shane slightly poked his head out from under the covers to look at me.

"What about?"

"Now now, that is my business and mine alone."

"Whatever," Shane replied turning over. I rolled my eyes again.

"Are you seriously going to stay on my couch?" I asked and Shane let out a loud groan.

"Yea, your couch is pretty comfortable." I let out a sigh.

"Fine. Just lock the door behind you when you leave," I replied slipping my shoes on.

"What makes you think that I will want to leave?"

"Cause you have work?" I suggested to him placing a hand on the doorknob.

"Eh. Do I have to?" He asked and I looked up at the ceiling.

"Let me put this into terms that you might understand. There is nothing going on between us, so you have to go to work and make money to pay for your room at your aunt's," I replied and Shane pulled his head out from under the covers to glare at me.

"That was cold Ian. Very low blow."

"Like what you did to me the other day?" Shane narrowed his eyes.

"Fine. Guess I deserved that."

"Whatever, I'm going to be late for my meeting. Don't ruin my house," I warned before walking out leaving Shane alone in my house. I had a bad feeling about it, but I couldn't exactly force him out my house, man was like trying to move a brick wall. Pam was waiting at the bus stop for me when I walked down the path from my farm.

"Ready to go kid?" Pam asked and I nodded my head. I was ready. Ready to keep the promise I made to a man that was long forgotten.

Later that day

I walked into the club, the music loud, the people dancing on top of each other. Yea, this place was perfect for us to have a meeting. He always did like loud places. I was making my way around the crowd of people, avoiding both men and women trying to hit on me when I heard something from behind: "Looking for a good time babe?" I turned around ready to hit a man when a smile formed on my face.

"Jäger!" I exclaimed throwing my arms around a tall blond haired man. He took a step back a hand on his chin examining me.

"Shortie! Your hair's more red then the last time I saw it! Are you dying that hair?"

"No."

"How's life on the farm Shortie?"

"Pretty good. I'm making things work."

"Good. Why it took so long for you to call me? Do you know how long it took for me to realize that you weren't coming home?!" He exclaimed a glare on his face. "I wasted a lot of food that night cause we were suppose to have dinner!"

"Stop making it sound like we were living in the same house as a couple! We're two of four siblings. You make it sound creepy."

"Yea...We definitely were the best looking out the four of us. So!" Jäger began leading me over to a table and sitting down. "Tell me Shortie, what is it that you need from me." I bit my bottom lip trying to figure out a way to start to explain to Jäger my problem. I unconsciously reached into my pocket and pulled out the small key ring and placed them down on the table. Jäger picked it up and inspected them carefully.

"What are they?" He asked.

"Um. Keys to their house," I replied carefully, Jäger tilted his head to the side.

"You realize that there is a possibility that there is someone living in their house right now right?"

"Yea..I know...I just...I need to make some closure."

"Jill~"

"Please? Ja please. For me?" Jäger let out a long sigh, nodding his head.

"Ok. Alright. I'll look into it. I will meet you on the eve of the third day from our meet."

"Where?"

"You're place. Ana told me about this scruffy guy that likes you, but doesn't like you. Something about him being a very rude man to you as well. I think he and I need to have a little talk about tact with women."

"Uumm. I don't know if you should do that."

"Jill," Jäger replied tilting his head and rolling his eyes. "I get it, you are a big strong, independent, confident...Well maybe not confident...Woman that can take care of herself around assholes. Still, it would be disrespectful if your big brother did not get involved."

"You are not my big brother. We were quadruplets and last time I checked I was born before you. You can reference that with mom."

"Petty details. I will see you in three days. Don't get yourself into more trouble understood?"

"Well~" I started and Jäger turned back to me slowly.

"What now?"

"Um...I think I'm being...Stalked.." I replied quietly.

"Oh really? Carry this around and they won't bother you anymore," Jäger replied handing a gun to me.

"Oh my god Jäger! Not in the front of everyone here!" I exclaimed pushing the hand gun back towards Jäger.

"Fine, do things your girlie way," he replied standing up again. "Three days Shortie."

When I returned home the sun had long since set, and I was just ready to throw myself face down on my bed and sleep the night away. I clicked the light on and slowly glanced around the room. Shane was gone and the house appeared empty. Maybe having Shane spend the night scared the stalker away. I let out a slow sigh and locked the door behind me making my way towards the bathroom. I needed a long hot shower, and a long hot shower is exactly what I gave myself, spending most of it thinking. I turned off the water and slipped into my pajamas, walking out the bathroom running a hand through my long hair trying to coat the ends with a little bit of oil, when I felt someone grab my shoulder throwing me against the wall. I looked up at a tall man with long, shaggy, dark red hair that was pulled back against his neck, a scar going across his face starting from his eyebrow, and going across his nose down his right cheek. He grinned down at me wickedly, placing both forearms on either side of me.

"I've been waiting for you to be alone, you really shouldn't have kept me waiting either," the man replied running a hand down the side of my face. I pulled away from his hand and he gave me a wicked laugh leaning forward.

"No!" I shouted hitting the man in the face. He grabbed my hand weaving his fingers through mine.

"Aw, don't fight me. I'm very gentle," he said pressing his lips against mine, I pushed against his chest and he pulled away for a moment, a grin still on his face. "Admit that you liked it," he replied and I headbutted him in the nose. He recoiled back and I slipped around him rushing towards the door when the man tackled me pinning me to the floor, he gave me a bloody smile.

"I do like that you have some fight in you, but I'm sure I can break that," he said running a cold hand down my side.

"No, stop!" I shouted kneeing the man in the groin causing him to fall to the side groaning in pain. I picked myself up trying to rush towards the door again, when I felt the man grab my arm roughly throwing me forward. I felt my head strike the corner of my chimney hard making my head spin. The man grabbed a handful of my hair pulling me to my feet glaring down at me.

"The fighting was cute at first, now it just pisses me off!" The man exclaimed twisting my arm behind my back. I let out a shout of pain and reached up on the mantle of my chimney, my hand wrapping around a candle stick. I pulled back and swung the candle stick around making it collide with the man's head. He recoiled back holding his head releasing my arm and I dashed out the door and off my farm south ignoring the pain in my bare feet as I rushed over stray stones and branches. I didn't stop till I was at Marnie's doorstep banging on the door.

"Let me in please!" I shouted and the door opened to a concerned face.

"Oh my god what happened?" Marnie exclaimed pulling me into her house and examining the wound on my head.

"S-Someone...I-in my-my house~" I panted and Marnie frowned.

"What?" She demanded and turned to the door when it opened. I jumped. Shane walked in a question mark forming on his face.

"What happened?" He asked closing the door behind him looking at me confused, his eyes shifting to the wound on my head.

"Someone broke into Jill's house and attacked her, Shane go check it out for her," Marnie demanded, and Shane frowned his eyebrows furrowing.

"Fine," Shane replied a hint of disbelief in his voice making his way out the house again.

"No Shane wait!" I shouted dashing after him, Marnie calling after me to stop.

"Go back so Marnie can fix your head," Shane replied and I frowned.

"You really don't believe me," I replied a bit hurt. Shane glanced at me.

"I really am having a hard time believing this. We've never had a stalker in the valley before, so why would it make a difference now? I get it you've had a long day and you fell in the shower or something right?"

"Noo~!" I groaned grabbing his hand to stop him. He pulled away glaring at me.

"Seriously Ian, just because you're new to the valley doesn't mean that you can let everything scare the crap out of you," Shane said starting to walk away again.

"How is it that you can live with two women and be so harsh?" I demanded and he turned to me slowly his eyes narrowing.

"That's family. I would do anything for them, but you? Technically you're just a neighbor, not really anything other than that," Shane replied opening up my front door and gestured with his hand the empty room.

"Doesn't look like there is anything here Ian," he replied and I looked through the door uneasily. Shane rolled his eyes and stepped into the house, arms outstretched.

"Where Ian? Where is he?" He demanded and I took a couple slow cautious steps into the house Shane still glaring at me. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me the rest of the way into the house.

"See? Nothing! All in your head! You fell down, bumped your head and let YOUR imagination get the better of you. Pathetic really," Shane replied angrily.

"Well, actually it really wasn't her imagination," a voice replied and Shane turned around only to receive a hard blow to the face. The man from earlier shook his hand wincing.

"Head like a brick wall. Hate it when the boyfriend is nothing but a giant asshole," the man replied stepping over Shane, grabbing a handful of my hair.

"Little bitch is going to get exactly what she needs," the man replied throwing me to the floor. Shane stood up punching the man. He recoiled back before hitting Shane again. I ducked away from the two fighting men reaching for my phone. The man threw Shane on the table, snapping it in half. He bent forward grabbing Shane's collar.

"A man's fight is only as good as his will to protect whoever he is trying to protect, and you? You haven't helped her one bit yet," the man replied striking Shane across the face hard. The man made his way towards me grabbing me by the throat and throwing me against the wall.

"Now then," he began tightening his grip around my throat, "IF you don't mind me continuing where I left off, maybe I can get some satisfaction, you can feel violated, and I can go about my business while your boyfriend feels inadequate once again," he added angrily pressing his lips against mine roughly, his hand slipping under my shirt, while he pressed me against the wall harder. I could feel myself going light headed, when a loud thunk could be heard and the man fell to the floor out cold. Shane was glaring at the man one hand holding his head, the other holding a ceramic mug.

"Fucking perverts," he mumbled tossing the mug to the side. I took several deep breaths sinking to the floor. I was still in shock, terrified...In a daze maybe? Shane bent down looking at me.

"Are you alright?" He asked and I stood up making my way towards the door when I heard a knock. I opened the door to reveal two cops standing there. I mumbled a few words, pointed to the heap of man knocked out on the ground and moved around my house trying to pick up the mess from the fight. I heard the door close and glanced out the corner of my eye to see Shane still standing there awkwardly. I shook my head.

"You can go home, you don't have to waste your time with me," I replied and Shane scratched the back of his head and made his way towards me. He bent down helping me clean up some of the mess.

"I'm sorry," he began, "it's not completely your fault...But it's not completely my fault either." I looked at him incredulously.

"How is any of this my fault?" I demanded and Shane sat back on his feet both hands hitting his head.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that! I just~Argh!" Shane exclaimed.

"Then how did you mean it Shane? Please, enlighten me," I said, my voice cracking.

"I...I use to have this girlfriend..." He started slowly not looking up at me, "she made it a habit of coming up with these fantastical stories that were never true. It's a bit hard for me to believe anything anyone says...After being with her I found out I had a hard time distinguishing truth from fantasy. I'm sorry I didn't believe you," Shane replied softly. I let out a soft sigh and stood up, Shane watching me walk towards the kitchen. I opened a drawer and pulled out a towel then pulled some ice out the freezer.

"Come here," I ordered, Shane stood up and walked over to me mechanically. I pressed the ice pack to his head causing him to wince.

"You really did get a bad hit didn't you?" I said quietly and Shane placed his hand on top of mine removing it from his head.

"Have you looked at yourself lately?" He asked letting his hand fall.

"Um...I'm sure I look like shit," I said turning around and digging through the cabinet for my first aid kit, when I felt a rough hand touch my shoulder gently, I forgot that I was just in my pajamas. A tank top and shorts. I glanced at Shane over my shoulder.

"What?" I asked and winced as he pressed the ice pack against my shoulder.

"I think you have something in your shoulder," he replied picking at it. I cringed.

"Stop that hurts," I said pulling away, Shane held onto my shoulder tightly frowning.

"Just relax would you?" He demanded and I braced myself against the counter, cringing every time Shane picked at my shoulder until finally his hand came around to my face. "You had a glass shard in your shoulder," he said dropping the shard on the counter, I could still feel a dull throbbing in my shoulder. I took a deep breath and leaned forward on the counter, watching Shane's hands come around me and dig through the first aid kit. He pulled out some iodine, a couple of butterfly closures, gauze and medical tape. He pressed the ice pack against my shoulder for a brief moment before cleaning it up. I straightened up and turned to face Shane, who moved the hair out of my face trying to clean my head.

"I'm sorry to hear about your crappy girlfriend..." I replied slowly and Shane shrugged pressing the towel to my head to stop the bleeding.

"Hey, a bitch is a bitch right?" Shane asked quietly and silence enveloped us for a moment, the two of us standing there, Shane cleaning my head. When he finished his hand rested on my cheek, his other hand brushing hair out of my face.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"Why?" I asked looking up at him.

"I have a hard time adjusting to new people, and I feel like I've been treating you like crap."

"It wouldn't be the first time something like that happened to me," I said softly, resting my head against his hand. Shane let his hand slide down the side of my face resting against my neck and chin gently.

"You have...Blood...right there..." Shane replied uneasily trying to scratch the blood off my face. That wasn't what he wanted to say, I thought to myself mentally smiling.

"Oh...I have blood do I?" I asked leaning against the counter, Shane flushed a light shade of pink.

"Mm," he mumbled and I smiled looking back up at him.

"It wasn't going to be anything about my eyes?" I asked and Shane shook his head.

"Nope, only corny people say things like that."

"Oh...And you're not corny are you?" I teased and Shane flushed a darker red.

"No," he said turning away. I gently turned his face back facing me.

"You sure?"

"Yea," he replied the words barely escaping his lips, my hands tightened around the collar of his jacket.

"That's too bad," I replied pulling him forward, pressing my lips against his. Oop, nope I was not going to say that this was a mistake. I wanted to give him a kiss, and he could say what he wanted this was no mistake on my part, I was tired of having sexual frustrations with this man. If I could admit to myself that I had feelings for this asshole, no matter what he says to me, he should be able to admit it too right? I thought to myself and Shane pulled away, his face bright red. He turned away and I cocked my head to the side.

"What's wrong?" I asked and Shane glanced at me over his shoulder.

"I can't give you what you want," he replied slowly and I frowned.

"What do you mean?" I asked and Shane ran a hand through his hair.

"You seem like you're a nice girl Jill, and you have your whole life ahead of you. I'm just a messed up man with no good qualities now. Don't waste your time with me," he said and I looked down at my feet. I should have felt insulted, I should be feeling hurt and rejected, but I wasn't. Instead I was feeling like an idiot. You don't have feelings for someone you just met. I bit my bottom lip.

"...not even a little..." I asked quietly.

"Not a little what?"

"You have no feelings for me?"

"Jill, *sigh, I can't say that I do. I'm broken, I don't think that I know how to have feelings for someone," he replied and I nodded my head slowly.

"I see...Thanks for the help tonight...You should probably start heading home...Marnie might start worrying about you," I said walking Shane towards the door. Shane nodded his head.

"Yea, I suppose so...Good night," Shane said walking out the door.

"Good night," I said quietly closing the door behind him. I let myself slide to the floor. I really was an idiot, as if anyone in the world could like someone like me.

Summer 20

I had been avoiding Shane like most people avoided sicknesses, all I wanted to do was wait for my brother to come back. I sat in the far back corner of the bar drinking quietly to myself trying to pretend as though I didn't exist when a pair of keys dropped down in the front of me. I glanced up, Jager standing there looking down at me concerned. He sat down.

"Are you okay?" He asked and I shrugged.

"Yea, I'm fine," I lied and Jager tilted his head to the side.

"Oh really? And how many have you had to drink?" He asked.

"Not nearly enough," I replied and Jager rolled his eyes.

"Let me guess. You're angry neighbor right?" He asked and I just stared at him.

"No."

"Really?"

"Yea," I replied standing up. Jager pointed at Shane the minute he walked into the bar.

"That him?"

"No."

"So if I go and talk to him there's nothing going on between the two of you?"

"Nope," I replied bluntly. Jager rolled his eyes.

"I have to talk to someone about the female equivalent of a horse," I replied stumbling off towards the bathroom. When I got out the bathroom both Jager and Shane were talking, I had never seen Jager's hands move so fast before in my life. I slightly panicked and made my way over towards them grabbing Jager's shoulder.

"We need to go," I replied and Jager stood up.

"Don't you forget about the little talk we had understood?" Jager replied and Shane turned to him his face blank.

"Fine," he replied and Jager and I started to leave when Shane called him back. "Don't you want your drink?"

"I didn't buy it for me," Jager replied holding the door open for me to stumble through. "We'll leave in the morning okay?" He replied bracing me with one arm around my waist the other around my shoulders.

"What did you two talk about?" I asked and Jager shook his head.

"Mm, nothing much...Just how he needs to show a little more respect to women."

"Jager, why?" I groaned.

"Because I felt like it. It's what I do Jillian!" Jager replied opening my front door and leading me inside. He guided me to my bedroom and set me down on the bed.

"We leave in the morning ok?" Jager replied walking out my bedroom.

"M'kay," I replied turning over and falling asleep.

 **Author's note: I apologize for the late post, and terrible chapters if you don't like them. We've been having problems at work with our landlords who really aren't the nicest people in the world. So! If the chapters aren't that great I blame the landlords. It's never the writer's fault O.o**

 **And thanks for the follows and reads!**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

That was my mistake

Summer 21

The bus ride back into the city was quiet and awkward and I was busy trying to forget my embarrassing moment with Shane. Finally Jager tapped me on the shoulder.

"Are you sure that you want to do this?" He asked and I nodded my head.

"Yea, I need to do this...Speaking of, how did you find the house?"

"Well all I did was say a few choice words, such as how I was family coming home from fighting and needed to get into the house. The city was more than happy to let me come in."

"Oh Jager," I replied as we stepped off the bus and into the front a a well built brick house.

"Do you know what it is that you're looking for?" Jager asked opening the door to the house. I shrugged.

"Not really. He just said that there was something he had for his son and that I would know what it was when I found it," I replied looking around the house. Jager scratched the back of his head.

"Awesome," he replied starting to wander through the house looking at everything. I let out a sigh.

"Just...Roll with me on this please," I replied and Jager stopped at one of the shelves looking at the pictures that were arranged on it.

"They looked like a real happy family," he replied and I looked up at him with a frown.

"I'm sure they were," I said walking over to him, looking at the faces of a young boy with his father when I stopped, I grabbed one of the pictures feeling my heart drop.

"Oh no," I replied and Jager glanced over my shoulder.

"Huh...Isn't that your super angry neighbor?" Jager asked pointing to a young man in a picture with his mother and father. He looked exactly like his father, same dark hair, same green eyes, same broad shoulders and sharp jaw.

"Yea," I said quietly letting out a sigh of agony. Jager glanced at me out the corner of his eye.

"Does anyone know about what happened?" He asked and I shook my head.

"No, I don't exactly open myself for people to know about it," I replied running my fingers across the glass of the picture.

"Maybe you should...You know...Tell him about that day?" Jager suggested and I let out another sigh.

"It won't exactly be a happy ending if I do."

"Sometimes feelings have to be hurt in order to understand what happened." I walked away the picture still in my hand. I wasn't ready to tell Shane that his parents died because of me. How does anyone prepare for something like that? How do I even begin that conversation? Sorry Shane, hate to break the news to you but your parents died on a boat with me, only...I didn't die, sucks about your folks though. I groaned. Shane was going to hate me more than he already hated me.

"Fuck," I muttered and knelt down at a cabinet beginning to dig some more.

"Having problems deciding on how to tell him?" Jager asked digging through some drawers.

"Jager how do I tell him? How do I explain it?" I asked pulling out an old cypress and iron box.

"Why not just...Tell him?" Jager suggested with a shrug. I let out another sigh.

"That's not nearly as easy as you say it," I said unfolding the note attached to the box: _Shane, life has it's ups and downs, and even after your mother and I are gone you can never forget. I know you, you're going to fall into depression again, but you can never forget. You are never alone. And we are always with you._

"I think I found what I was suppose to find," I replied and Jager looked over my shoulder at the box.

"What's in it?" He asked and I glared at him.

"That really is none of our concern."

"Don't worry, Shane will tell you."

"Yea, I'm sure," I mumbled.

Later that evening

I had just made it back home to my farm, even though I didn't do much work today I felt exhausted. I suppose that could be due to the fact that I spent it out of the house, away from home trying to figure out feelings that I thought I understood and clearly didn't.

"Jill?" A voice called and I glanced over my shoulder to see Shane walking up to me. Shit. I was not ready for this talk. Not today not tomorrow...I was thinking more along the lines of like twenty years from now.

"Um Shane, hi!" I exclaimed nervously shoving the box behind my back. He scratched the back of his head.

"Look...I need to know...Are you avoiding me because of what happened the other night? Because I feel like you are."

"What?" I asked, my voice cracking, as I made a crack in the door and dropped the box in the house. "No, that's not it at all!"

"Then what is it? Cause now I feel awkward about the already strained friendship we have; I feel like you're avoiding me the way someone avoids a friend they didn't want to see naked," Shane replied and I felt my cheeks burn hot.

"No...That's not...I just...I had some things that I needed to work out..." I replied uneasily.

"Such as?" Shane pressed and I took a deep breath and pulled my hands out from behind my back handing him the picture. He took it frowning down at it.

"Where did you get this?" He asked slowly, looking down at me. I took a step back, my back right against the door.

"Um..." I began nervously my hands fidgeting in front of me, "you may not like the story that I am about to tell you..."

"Did Marnie give this to you?" He asked shaking his head.

"I have very meddlesome siblings, and they think that I should talk to someone about this."

"What about?" He asked and I sat down on my porch, Shane sat down next to me.

"About that day. About what happened. Sorry about the picture though."

"It's fine, I'll blame Marnie for this later. So what's the problem?" I took a deep breath.

"It's a bit hard for me to decide as to where to begin."

"Tragedy is never easy to start to explain," Shane said leaning back on his hands and looking up at the darkening sky.

"I use to lead this community center mostly for kids and troubled teens, but there were some adults there as well. Unemployed, sick, homeless," I began shrugging, "the works you know?"

"Yes, you told me."

"Well, it was almost four years ago, I was twenty-one, the local PD had suggested a bit of 'survival' for people that relied on the center. They called it 'project self defense'. They were worried about the ongoing war and wanted all of its citizens to be prepared to take care of themselves. So I talked to the people in the center and they were all for it. We put together a fundraiser, and raised the money to go on the trip. The only problem was finding a ship and captain willing to take us to the island we were suppose to be heading..."

 _I locked the door to the community center and let out a slow sigh more and more people were getting back on their feet and didn't need to stay at the community center. The only ones I ever really left there were a couple of social workers with the kids, other than that the adults would try to go out and seek jobs, or other...Nightly activities. They would all meet me back here in the morning anyway. Most of them drunk, others...Well...Satisfied...Either way I was getting ready to return home when this man approached me. I was always a bit cautious, and even more nervous when strangers approached me. I started walking, he followed alongside me._

 _"Um...Hi...Can I um help you?" I asked nervously and the man smiled at me straightening up and I looked up at him. He must have stood up over six foot._

 _"Are you Jillian Viper?" He asked and I looked around before nodding my head._

 _"I mean...Do I want to be?" I asked and he smiled._

 _"Hi! My name is Henry!" He began shaking my hand violently. I pulled away my hand still shaking. "My wife and I saw your ad for a ship and captain and I came to offer our help!"_

 _"Um...Are you sure? I mean you do know where I want you to take us right? We've been having trouble finding a captain because of the location of the island we are going," I warned and Henry nodded his head._

 _"My wife and I have sailed all over the world. We do a lot of cargo, some of the trips we make are even into the Gotoro Empire. Or course we don't do that anymore. But I think that we can handle it," Henry replied and I nodded my head._

 _"Ok. If you really want," I replied and Henry nodded his head._

 _"We can leave tomorrow if you would like."_

 _"I have to get a few supplies so perhaps in two days time? We can meet at the docks," I replied and Henry nodded his head._

 _"That we can do. See you in two days then!" He exclaimed before walking off. I had met strange people before, but I never met someone who wasn't afraid to sail through Kurro waters, and in two days I was on a ship with only about seven of the members at the community center along with the couple._

 _I was leaning against the ship's railing looking out onto the water, I had just finished up a lesson, with my I suppose you could say students, on the island, when I felt a presence stand next to me._

 _"How are you handling the sailing?" Henry asked leaning on the railing as well. I nodded my head._

 _"I don't have a problem with water, sailing or even flying...It's...relaxing actually," I admitted and Henry smiled._

 _"That's a good thing...You know..." he began looking up at the sky, "I have a son about your age, maybe one day you two could meet...Or something...Just a suggestion..." he finished quietly and I laughed._

 _"Maybe I could. I'm sure if you and your wife are this nice he can't be so bad right?"_

 _"He IS a little rough around the edges, but no, he's not a bad kid."_

 _"I hate to break up your conversation, but we have a stowaway," Henry's wife, Anita, said walking towards us holding a young boy with brown hair by the ear. I recognized the kid. He had been living in the community center since I reopened it three years back._

 _"It's okay Anita, this is Jet, I'll take care of him," I replied grabbing him by the shoulders. She nodded her head and the couple walked away._

 _"What are you doing here Jet?" I asked leaning back against the railing of the ship. Jet looked down at the ocean._

 _"I just...I heard that you were coming to the Kurro Isles and thought that maybe I could find my brother there...He went off to war and I don't know...I was hoping that he might be here..." He replied and I smiled putting an arm around him._

 _"I know that it hurts when family goes to war, but you have to believe that he'll come back."_

 _"I know...I just thought..."_

 _"I know...It's ok...It's ok to have hope.." I said looking out onto the sea spotting another boat heading towards us. I straightened up._

 _"Henry!" I called and he looked over at us and I pointed out to the boat. He shook his head._

 _"We won't worry about them unless they try to board us," Henry replied giving the boat a hard turn to the right. Something wasn't right though. The ship was following us, and closing the gap between us fast. I held onto Jet's shoulders._

 _"Stay by me ok?" I replied walking him below decks._

 _"What's going on Ms. Jill? Is everything ok?" One of the ladies asked and I shrugged._

 _"I'm not entirely sure. I'll head above decks to see how far off we are from the islands," I said and sat Jet down._

 _"Just stay here ok Jet?" I asked making my way back above decks, which was a mistake. The minute I set foot above decks I was surrounded by nothing but chaos. The ship had caught up to us and had boarded. Pirates...and they were everywhere. Oh shit! I thought ducking under the arms of one of the pirates._

 _"Jill get everyone from below decks into the life boats!" Henry shouted trying to fight off a couple of pirates. I looked around, could we even make it to the life boats? I thought to myself when I felt myself get grabbed from behind._

 _"Try to keep the women, they'll fetch for a high price on the black market, especially if they're pretty," the man said wrapping one arm around my waist the other hand cupping my cheek. I headbutted the man and he dropped me to the floor. I ran below decks to gather the others, all of them in a panic as some of the pirates had made their way down below decks._

 _"No," I said quietly starting to throw random objects at the men. "Go run!" I shouted at a few of the passengers that had managed to escape from the pirates. I grabbed Jet's hand._

 _"Come on kid!" I shouted dashing up the stairs dragging Jet behind me. Henry caught me mid run._

 _"Come on, we need to go," he replied starting to run towards one of the life boats when everything seemed to stop. An explosion could be heard tearing the boat in two, flinging passengers and pirates everywhere. I broke the surface, Jet was struggling to stay above water and I swam over towards him._

 _"Hold on Jet," I said grabbing him and placing him on an broken piece of the boat. I leaned on it looking around the wreckage feeling my heart sink. No one else survived? I thought and I felt something tug on my leg dragging me under water. I lashed out trying to fight off the pirate that was trying to drown me. If I didn't fight him off he would drown me. I felt his fingers close tightly around my neck. I felt myself growing light headed, dizzy, when I finally gave one last kick and I could feel him releasing me. I made my way to the surface fast gasping for breath._

 _"Ms. Jill! Over here!" Jet shouted at me pointing to a limp figure of Henry drifting not too far away from Jet. I swam over to him trying to haul him onto the boat piece with Jet. I placed my hands on the little 'raft' and started swimming, hopefully I could find an island soon to bring us some kind of 'safety'._

 _I swam for what felt like forever, the sun had finally set and I was ready to give up when I finally saw land. I let out a slightly relieved sigh and pulled the raft towards the land. I let myself flop onto the sand. I was exhausted both physically and mentally. The entire crew was gone, the only ones left were Henry, Jet, and myself. Everyone else didn't make it. I let out a frustrated cry and sat up slowly._

 _"Ms. Jill?" Jet asked and I turned to look at him._

 _"Yea Jet?"_

 _"What happened?"_

 _"I'm...Not entirely...Sure," I replied slowly when I felt myself getting pulled up by my hair, I looked up, apparently one of the pirates had managed to escape the explosion._

 _"If anything I will at lease get one bitch for prophet," the man replied. Henry had finally gotten his second wind and pulled the pirate off me knocking me to the ground. The pirate swiped at Henry, his blade plunging deep into Henry's chest. Henry fell back shock across his face._

 _"No!" I shouted lunging at the pirate who swung around throwing me back onto the ground choking me, the evening tide coming in quickly. I kicked out at the man knocking him back, I flipped him over holding his head under the water. He struggled to get me off him, his hands clawing at my face until finally he stopped. I felt my heart stop. I just drowned a man. I felt the tears forming in my eyes and a small hand rest on my shoulder._

 _"He was going to hurt us. You saved us," Jet replied and I nodded my head. I wanted to say yes, I wanted to understand the same feeling he was feeling but I couldn't wrap my head around it. Yes, I knew I had saved our own hides...But I still felt guilty._

 _"Jill?" A faint voice called to me. I turned to face Henry, his hand outstretched towards me. I made my way towards him grabbing his hand gently._

 _"Hey...We're going to get you some help ok? Just hang tight," I replied encouragingly. He shook his head slowly._

 _"No...I'm not going to make it out of this, but you and Jet...You can."_

 _"Henry~"_

 _"Do something for me will you?"_

 _"Of course..."_

 _"When you get back into town," he said shoving something into my hand, "return to my house, there is something there for my son...He won't be ready for it...But when the time is right please give it to him. Ok? He gets scared, and he forgets. Don't let him forget."_

 _"Forget what?"_

 _"Don't let him forget," Henry replied closing his eyes. I rested my head against his._

 _"I won't," I said quietly and began to dig. The least I could do was give him a proper burial. I sat there, on top where I buried him and cried. I didn't know the man, I didn't know his kid, but I had a guilt wash over me, like this was all my fault this happened. I shouldn't have come out here. I should have ignored the police. Everyone was gone, and this was all my fault._

I stared at my hands the entire time I retold the story to Shane, except the small part about what his father said. I didn't want him to be insulted.

"I still see his face every time I go near the water. The pirate, Henry. The other passengers. My psych told me it was 'survivor's guilt' that I experienced a tragic accident and lived," I said quietly, and looked up. Shane had been so quiet the entire time. I thought he would interrupt me at some point, but he never did. I leaned back when I saw his face. He was hurt, angry. It wasn't the expression I was expecting, but I wasn't sure what to expect from him.

"Y-you're the reason my parents are dead," he began a hint of betrayal in his voice. "If you had NEVER gone to that community center. If you had NEVER booked that fucking trip! My dad would have never seen the ad and he and Mom might still be alive!" I sat back away from him, terrified, a bit hurt, but ashamed. He was right. This was all my fault anyway.

"S-Shane I-I," I tried to mumble when he stood up furiously.

"I KNEW you were trouble when you came into the valley, but I never realized exactly HOW MUCH trouble you were. I can't believe you! When were you going to tell me you knew my parents?" He demanded pointing an accusing finger at me.

"I didn't know them! All I knew them as were the couple that offered to help me. They were nice people! I didn't know they were YOUR parents!" I cried and Shane scoffed at me.

"I LOOK LIKE MY FATHER!" He exploded and I shrunk back. I was terrified of Shane right now, if he were drunk he probably would have wrapped his hands around my throat and killed me.

"Why did you think that you could hide this from me? Why would you not tell me?!"

"It's not exactly something I want to talk about! I witnessed several of my friends die on sea, not to mention your parents, and a bunch of pirates that wanted to sell me on the black market! I WANTED TO FORGET IT!" I shouted standing up glaring at him through tears. "You think I want to remember the bad that happened?! No! I honor THEIR memory by the good they did in the community! It took EVERYTHING I had to work up the courage to even think about telling you the story, much less actually tell you. The world doesn't revolve around you Shane! There are other people hurting!" I shouted through tears, my heart trying to thump its way out of my chest. A muscle in Shane's eye twitched and I saw his hand start to move. I backed into the wall of my house Shane looming over me, when he stopped and shook his head in what appeared to be disappointment and betrayal.

"You're not worth my time," he replied softly waving the picture in the air before stepping off my porch and off my farm. I felt my heart sink, and then shatter, and I sunk to the floor, wrapping my arms around my knees and burying my head into my arms. I never liked talking about it, and I just made Shane hate me even more then he already did. I sat on the porch and cried until I fell asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

There's a Drug for that

Summer 26

"I made a mistake, I made a mistake telling him what happened on that day. He wasn't ready to hear what happened."

"And what makes you think that he wasn't ready."

"Couldn't be because he was ready to strangle me once I told him!"

"Do you think that it was possible, that this...Shane, has a different method of coping. Angry is a natural response to losing a loved one in such a harsh manner. Not everyone expresses their emotions with tears." I sat up slowly looking at the older man, my lips pursed out.

"Sometimes you say shit that just annoys the crap out of me."

"Jill, anger is a normal response. Would you care to punch some pillows?" I took a deep breath my eyes closed then I smiled at him.

"I would LOVE to punch a pillow," I replied and the older man gave me a warm smile standing up a pillow in the front of him.

"Now then, let all your depression and frustrations out in the pillow. If it helps you, you can imagine the one you are angry with. No wrong answers here Jill." I stood up a smile still on my face.

"Of course," I replied clenching my fingers and throwing a punch completely missing the pillow on purpose and hitting my shrink in the stomach. He doubled over coughing and I cocked my head to the side cracking my knuckles a smile still on my face.

"You're right Doc, I DO feel better."

"That's great~glad to hear," the shrink replied with a cough. He took a deep breath and straightened up. "While you were hitting me in the gut, did you imagine Shane's face."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not angry at him."

"Why not? It seems as though his reaction to your...Incident...Was a bit uncalled for."

"How would you respond if someone told you that they knew EXACTLY how your parents died because they witnessed it?" I asked and my shrink sat down a small smile on his face, a finger tapping the side of his face.

"Well, if I had to have a normal reaction I would say that I would be a bit hurt."

"Oh! So you would say that a NORMAL reaction would be hurt, which is one of the many emotions that I saw in Shane's face that night?" I replied sarcastically before sitting back down. My shrink's eye twitched.

"Jill are you depressed?"

"Yes, I now spend many nights crying because I still see his hurt and betrayal in his eyes. I can't look at him, I've been avoiding him. I drink at home now."

"And what about this box that his father asked you to give to Shane?"

"It stays on me at all times...He said that I would know when he's ready for it, but I feel as though I can't be certain as to when that time will be."

"How often do you drink Jill?"

"Well, when I get home from talking to you I'll probably drink and question why you are my shrink. Speaking of, where did you get your degree from, because I feel as though you're really not helping me."

"That's ok Jill. Lashing out is a normal response for someone that is coping with tragedy."

"Really? What isn't a normal response then?" I demanded throwing myself face down into the couch pillows.

"Jill, what you are experiencing isn't that far off from normality. Most people cope with their emotions through drugs because their emotions take over them."

"So...What you're saying is...There's a drug for that...Right?"

"Jill, I don't recommend any kind of drugs for you. I think you are handling your situation very well. You are working every day, you have, from what I can tell, a few friends that you speak to, and not to mention you delve into the mines to express your frustrations. You are not killing people, you are not burning fields or houses. You are making things work, and that Jill is a good sign of progress and moving forward," he replied with a reassuring smile.

"So...Keep doing what I'm doing?" I asked looking up at my shrink. He nodded his head.

"Absolutely."

"...And...What about my problem with Shane?" I asked quietly, and my shrink sat back in his chair.

"It sounds as though Shane has more than just his parents death to deal with. Something that he isn't ready to talk about just yet...But when he is Jill, he'll come to you to talk about it." I frowned.

"I have a hard time believing that he would come to me with his problems. He pretty much hates me right now."

"He is expressing hate towards you, but he does not HATE you." I let out a slow sigh.

"I don't think he would. I think he really hates me."

Pam parked the bus and I stepped off still feeling as though I were in a drugged daze. It was the first session I had with the doctor since a year ago when he cleared me for my psych evaluation. That was when he said that I could go out into society without blowing anyone's head off. Of course, I never really wanted to blow someone's head off in the first place. I just wanted to hide away into my own little corner of the world.

"Why are you following me?" I interrupted my own line of thought to turn to the young man walking behind me. He stopped and smiled running a hand through his brown hair.

"Jill! Funny seeing you here."

"Alex! I live here," I retorted and the young man flushed a light shade of pink. "Can I help you?"

"No no..I mean Yes! Well...I hope you can? Maybe?" he replied uncertainly and I turned to him confused. "Two things! Please."

"Um, sure I suppose. What is it?"

"I know you've been doing the whole farming thing, you know, I've noticed all that toned muscle from your working...Anyway!" He exclaimed blushing and I felt my cheeks grown warm. "I was wondering if you were growing some hot peppers by any chance."

"Um, yes I am. Why?"

"I was wondering if you could spare me some...I-I'd pay you for them! I just...I just want some for my grandfather...His knees give him so many problems during this season and he uses hot peppers to give them some relief."

"Oh! Absolutely! My grandmother did the same until the day she died, bless her, she always did like those herbal remedies," I replied and waved him to follow me. "I'll make sure I give you some of my hottest peppers for George."

"Thanks! How much you want to charge me for this?" I shook my head.

"Oh don't worry about payment. This is no problem." I said smiling up at Alex. He flushed red again.

"Thanks."

"So...About that second thing?" I asked and Alex's face flushed a darker red. He scratched the back of his head.

"Well...Jill...There's this festival coming up at the end of the season...It's called the Flight of the Moonlight Jellies...And I was just...You know...Thinking...Maybe we could...you know...Watch them off together?" He asked hopefully and I frowned.

"Actually," I began handing some peppers to him, "I wasn't intending on going to the festival."

"Oh...I see...It really is a great festival Jill."

"Oh Alex, I don't doubt that...I just...I'm not feeling in a very social mood," I replied sorrowfully. Alex nodded his head.

"Friendship problems right?" He asked and I frowned.

"I guess you can say that," I said quietly. Alex rested a hand on my shoulder.

"Well...I'm sure it will work out eventually...If given the right amount of time," Alex replied and I let out a slow exhale.

"Yea...I'm sure...At least I want to be hopeful about it," I said quietly. Alex kissed the top of my head and I felt the heat rise to my cheeks again.

"Don't worry! They will! You're too pretty to stay mad at for long," Alex exclaimed with a smile. "Thanks for the peppers, my grandfather will appreciate them very much!"

"Of course. Tell you're grandparents I said hi."

"Of course, enjoy your week," Alex replied waving off as he left the farm. I waved goodbye to him and considered his words. I wanted to accept that everyone was all forgiving, but I felt as though that wouldn't happen. I thought that if I could have one person accept my faults and what I've done, what I've been through that maybe I could move on...But all that I was banking on ended when I saw how hurt Shane was after my confession. I slapped my hand against my forehead. It was foolish of me to dwell on everything that went wrong in my life. I needed to move on from it. I frowned and slammed my head against the door.

"I can't just move on! I can't do that!" I cried feeling the tears run down my face. I was a wreck and was going to stay a wreck for the rest of my life. I wiped my face furiously and grabbed my pickax and sword. I needed to vent, and I was heading to the mines, and at this point I didn't give a shit if I passed out in the mines either. I made my way up the mountain side and pass Robin's place.

"Where are you heading all geared up the way you are?" A deep voice asked and I turned around to find Sebastian standing out by the lake, cigarette hanging out his mouth looking at me from the corner of his eye. I stopped.

` "That's a filthy habit you know," I replied and Sebastian shrugged.

"So is going into the mines. What were you thinking, gonna smash you some monsters?" He asked and I shrugged.

"Yea."

"You seem distracted, do you really think that's a safe thing to do?"

"Probably not. But what does it matter?"

"You know," he began flicking his cigarette to the ground and stomping it out, "there are other ways to vent your anger other then trying to get yourself killed in the mines."

"And what makes you think that I had any intention of getting killed down there?" I questioned watching Sebastian walk up to me.

"You may not have had the intention of it, but," he said "you're not all there either," he finished flicking my head. I rubbed my forehead.

"Gee, thanks for the pep talk Sebastian," I replied shifting uncomfortably. He turned to start walking away motioning with his head for me to follow, and I followed a bit uncertainly, into the carpenter's home and down the stairs to the basement where he slept.

"Sit your skinny ass over there," he ordered pointing at a large table in the far corner of the room. I sat down watching him grab some items from his desk drawer, before sitting across from me at the table.

"Ever played Solorian Chronicles?" He asked placing a map down on the table and I shrugged.

"Is it like D&D?" I asked and Sebastian shook his head slightly.

"Something like that."

"Then no." Sebastian shook his head.

"It's not hard. And it helps with the angst."

"Ok then, show me."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

Fear of the Nameless

Fall 1

I turned over onto my stomach, trying to re-position myself to help me fall asleep, but the silence is what prevented me from sleeping. The house was too quiet, not even the chime of the grandfather clock could be heard, and that made me uncomfortable, I flipped back onto my back and stared at the ceiling, or what I can assume was the ceiling in the pitch blackness of the room. It was too quiet. What time was it? I turned my head to the clock. Eleven fifty. Seriously? It wasn't even midnight and I couldn't sleep? Shit son. I thought and rolled out the bed making my way towards the kitchen. Maybe I could make me some hot tea and that could help with my insomnia? Masonic? Nah, can't be called that, that was like a person of free trade or something. Had to be insomnia, I think. Shit I couldn't even think properly. The silence never woke me up before, was there something else keeping me awake? What was I dreaming about right before I woke up? I thought and furrowed my eyebrows as I pulled a mug down, seeing a small chip around the rim of the mug. Oh, that's right, it was another one of those nights where I replayed that night over again in my head. Fucking Shane, bastard chipped my mug, I thought to myself trying to force myself to be angry at him...Which...I suppose since that night wasn't as hard...But was? Did that make sense? I suppose I should write that one down for the shrink, I'm certain he would have something dumb to say about that, like how my 'inner desires for acceptance with Shane is making me feel less sympathetic and more aggression towards him.' Yea, he WOULD say something like that. I should call Analise, then again she would probably twist that, saying that I needed to bang him and move on with my life. What about Jager? Jager would say that he would shoot him, hide the body and pretend like nothing happened. Ansel, what would he say? 'Listen punk ass, you can blame me all you want, but know this, I know where you sleep at night, and I'm not afraid of putting a bullet in between your eyes.' I let out a long groan of frustration. Fuck, they weren't even here and they were all annoying me.

"Having troubles sleeping? Or you just like to have internal arguments with yourself?" A voice asked causing me to jump and drop the mug to the ground, the mug finally shattering. I whipped around to see a young man, no older than myself, sitting at my bar, his right leg resting on top of his left leg, his black hair short and his brown eyes dark and trying to bore holes into my head. He was sitting back in the chair precariously, and I felt my heart drop, stop beating, then start back up beating, what my mom would say, a hundred miles a minute.

"Paulie," I said breathlessly. "What are you doing here?" The man rolled his shoulders, his eyebrows furrowing.

"You mean to tell me that you aren't happy to see me?" He asked, pretending to be hurt standing up.

"Tha-that's not it at all~" I stammered as he paced back and forth in the front of me. He stopped and turned to me.

"Then what is the problem?" He asked and I took a deep breath.

"Well~" I started backing into my counter as he made his way towards me, looming over me. "I-I~" I tried to start again but felt every part of me stiffen as he placed a hand on the counter top on either side of me.

"Did you really think that I would not find you? Did you really think that you could hide, make a new life and try to blend in without me knowing about it?" He asked bending forward. I tried backing up more, but Jill, the counter is right there, I thought feeling my own back dig into the counter top as I tried dodging Paulie. He grabbed my face roughly bending closer.

"I know every step you take, avoiding me is like trying to put out a forest fire with a cup of water," he whispered. Paulie said shit like that, shit that didn't make sense, but DID make sense.

"Paulie I wasn't trying to avoid you, I just~" smack, Paulie's hand struck the side of my face, and I felt my cheek split open. I held it gingerly looking at Paulie, fear written across my face.

"Sometimes looking at your face annoys me," he replied.

"Then don't look at it! Go away!" I shouted, and regretted it as I got another strike across my face. I went to fight back when he grabbed my wrist cocking his head to the side.

"Were you going to try hitting me?" Paulie asked, his hand tightening around my wrist. I winced.

"No," I said trying to recover from what I replied.

"Good, because you know as well as I do that it wouldn't be good for you if you did," he replied caressing my hand, and I felt myself start to hyperventilate. "It would be awful if something happened to you," he added slamming my hand down on the counter, snapping my wrist in half. I cried out in pain grabbing my wrist and sinking to my knees. Paulie took a step back glaring down at me.

"Yea, that would be a disaster," he said and I winced up at him staring down the barrel of a handgun.

"Paulie, please don't," I begged, but he just shook his head.

"Sorry kid, but someone, somewhere has to pay for what happened on that day," he said and I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder. I crumpled forward almost in tears.

"Paulie please!" I begged again as he pointed his gun at my head.

"Sorry Kid, mistakes like those are what get you killed," he replied pulling the trigger one last time...

I woke up with a scream, drenched in cold sweat. Another nightmare, they had been coming more frequently than I would have liked, and they were typically about the same thing. I turned over and looked at the clock, it was three in the morning. I threw back the covers and climbed out of bed. Mind as well try to get some work done, there was no way I would be able to get back to sleep anyway. I thought to myself and made my way to the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee.

I was sitting out by the river, fishing line sitting in the water and I was rocking back and forth. I had been fishing for quite some time now, actually I lost track of time, it was dark when I started to fish and now it was light out. Soo a few hours? I think.

"Jill?" A voice asked and I tilted my head backwards to look up at the concerned face of Emily.

"Emily! Hey, hi, hey Emily, how's it going?" I replied and Emily took a step back.

"Are you okay?" She asked and I nodded my head vigorously.

"Yea yea, sure sure. I'm cool, like a cucumber. Or Iceberg lettuce? Or ice in a freezer?"

"Why are you talking like you had three cups of coffee Jill?" She asked sitting next to me.

"Oh not cups, pots. I had three pots of coffee."

"...Why?"

"Night is when the nameless ones come out."

"...Wh-what?"

"The nameless ones. You know...Nightmares..." I replied with a whisper leaning in closer to her.

"Oh...Why are you by the river?"

"I'm done the farm work for the day. The cows are watered, and the plants are fed. I didn't have anything else to do."

"But...It's...six in the morning..."

"Yeayeayea, yea. I've been up since three," I said nodding my head vigorously. Emily frowned.

"What are you having nightmares about? Shane?"

"Pfft. Shane? As if, that little bitch is not going to get all my soul. I told him a secret and he yelled at me. So he can take it and suck it," I replied with a frown and looked up when I saw him walking by. I glared at him and he glared back.

"Bitch is NOT taking my soul!" I exclaimed shaking my fist at him and he continued to walk by shaking his head.

"Soo, none of your behavior lately is based off of what happened between you and Shane? Which, just saying, I don't know what happened just that you two got into a fight."

"Nope, nothing with that soulless douche-nozzle." Emily let out a sigh and stood up pulling me to my feet.

"Come on," she said walking me to her house. "You're going to have a caffeine crash and fall in the river resulting in your drowning," Emily replied and I shook my head.

"Nono, probably not...Probably," I replied as Emily sat me down on the sofa. She sat across from me.

"So talk. You claim that you're not having nightmares about Shane, so what are you having nightmares about?" I looked down at my feet.

"I had an accident a few years back," I started and Emily nodded her head. "I use to have this good friend that I met when I reopened the community center, he moved in with his mother, before long he signed up with the military and he was shipped off. I gave him my word that I would take care of his mother...Only she passed in the same accident that took several of my other friends from the center...You know...the hardest thing to do is write to a soldier saying that when they come back they will never get to see their mother again," I said looking down at my hands that were shaking rapidly. Emily put a hand on my shoulder.

"Are you afraid to face him? Is that why you're having nightmares?" I shook my head.

"No...A few months after I returned home from the accident, he came back home, he broke into the apartment that my brother and I had...And...Well...It wasn't exactly a pleasant scene," I replied.

"Jill...He...Hurt you?"

"Yea..."

"Are you afraid that he comes back? That he finds you again?"

"No..." I said just barely glancing up at her, "He's never coming back...When Jager got a call that our apartment had been broken into, he came in with the cavalry and...Paulie blew his own head off," I said trying to keep my composure. Emily frowned and pulled me into a tight hug.

"I'm sorry Jill~"

"Please don't...If I had only said no, none of this would have happened...I wouldn't have this problem."

"...But...Then you would have never come to town...And you would have never met any of us...Don't all bad things happen for a reason? A reason for something greater to happen?" I understood what Emily was trying to say, but it didn't make me feel less guilty about what happened. I stood up and Emily followed my movements.

"I um...I need to get back home...I put the animals out and I need to make sure that they stayed in the fence," I said making my way to the door. It was an excuse obviously, what I needed to do was run around the town and try to get rid of some of the excess energy I had. Emily knew it was an excuse, she really didn't want me to go, to be alone, but it was what I wanted.

"Jill~" she started and I looked back at her. "Don't do something that you might regret later." I nodded my head.

"Of course," I said shutting the door quietly behind me, and jogged my way back to my farm, the long way.

I stepped on my farm and stopped.

"Who's here?" I said loudly my hands twitching still. Vincent's head popped up from behind my crops.

"I'm here!" He exclaimed a goofy grin on his face, he looked like a younger version of Sam, and it was absolutely adorable. I smiled.

"Oh."

"Me too!" Jaz replied popping up from behind a row of corn.

"Oh! There's another one of you!" I exclaimed looking at Jaz as the two kids giggled. "What are you doing here giggling like some little school kids?" I questioned placing my hands on my hip and the kids giggled again.

"We wanted to see if you would play with us!" Vincent replied and Jaz nodded her head.

"Totally." I nodded.

"Fair enough," I replied and the kids squealed with delight. Maybe being with someone that was innocent and saw the world as it was instead of what it should be was just what I needed. Maybe I could forget, even if it was just for a little while.

Later that evening

"Vince are you sure you don't want me to walk you home?" I asked as I started to walk the kids home. Jaz had collapsed and I picked her up gently. Vincent shook his head.

"Nah, I can do this with no problems! I've done it before."

"Ok," I said as I watched him walk passed Marnie's ranch and back into town. I opened the door and walked into Marnie's home looking around. I didn't see anyone around and decided to go put Jaz in her room for her to sleep, when I heard Marnie almost shouting. I frowned and closed Jaz's door quietly trying to find Marnie. She was in Shane's room, and I walked in cautiously. Shane was on the floor turning away from Marnie, who was trying to get him off the floor. Finally she turned to me frowning.

"Jill, is there something that you can do?"

"Marnie...I don't know if~"

"Please Jill," she begged and finally I sighed and looked around, before walking out Shane's room and into the kitchen to grab a cup and fill it with water. Marnie watched me as I walked over to Shane and dumped the water on his head. Shane shook his head glaring up at me. I glanced at Marnie.

"Do you think you can give us a moment?" I asked and Marnie nodded walking out the room. I sat down next to Shane on my knees pushing Shane's hair out his face.

"What is wrong with you?" I asked and Shane glared at me.

"I'm useless," he replied turning away from me and I let out a sigh.

"Why?"

"All I do is work, drink, rinse and repeat. I have nothing in my life anymore. I don't have a family, I can't even make friends," he said. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"My mom use to say...Sometimes...We fall...And it hurts...Sometimes from that fall we break something, but with a break you can reset it and it heals sometimes better than it was before. When we are at our worse, it means that we've already fallen, and we've broken something, and that the pain we feel right now is us trying to reset that break."

"What if the break can never heal?" I shrugged.

"What would life be if we didn't have a bump in the road. Pain is the worse thing that a person can feel and try to endure, everyone handles pain in a different way, and it is the longest process to move on from. You have to endure the pain. Eventually everything gets better."

"Well, nothing's gotten better for me, and I don't think that will ever change, hopefully I won't be around for much longer to deal with the pain, or to cause anyone else pain." I frowned.

"Shane~"

"What?! No! You can't! Stop thinking like that!" A little voice shouted and we both turned to see Jaz standing in the doorway to Shane's room, tears streaming from her eyes. I felt my heart break as the little girl ran off.

"Wait, no, Jaz," Shane called and put his head in his hands frustrated. "Shit! Fuck!" he shouted then turned to me glaring again.

"Shane~"

"Get out! Just get the fuck out! Leave me alone!" He shouted shoving me roughly towards the door. "I don't need you, just get out!"

"Fine.." I said softly, once again, hurt by his words I started to walk away when I stopped and looked over my shoulder at him. "The world is a flawed sick place and doesn't know how to not hurt someone. It's a sick and twisted affair that we have to live with. Its a world of hurt, but there is also comfort." I tried to help him. I did, but it seemed as though he didn't care for me enough to want me to help him. I made my way home. I've been trying to take my mom's advice the last four years, I was waiting for my reset to be done with. I was ready for the break to heal. Sebastian was right though, you can't live a life hoping that you could please everyone. I just had to deal with the nightmares in the meantime. My shrink would say that the next step would be to open up to someone who was willing to accept my faults, my past...Me.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

One More Shot

Fall 2

Abigail let out a loud shriek as she dashed to take cover behind me. I gave a a broad grin as I swung my sword upward stopping the skeleton's own sharpened bone. I pushed back and swung my sword down defeating the skeleton who was now just a crumbled pile of bones. Abigail peered over my shoulder at the vanquished foe and let out a soft sigh.

"I'm sorry Jill, I wanted to come down here with you to show that I could fight too and so far I've been nothing but a burden on you. I run away at the sight of danger. I guess I can't be the explorer that I've always wanted to," she said with a frown.

"Hey don't sweat it Ab, when I first started I spent the first few months getting put back together by Harvey and Maru. Fighting in a guild isn't exactly an easy thing, it takes time," I replied leading her back up the ladder. She let out another sigh.

"I suppose so," she finally said as we made our way towards the mouth of the cave. I put an encouraging hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry, you always have me to defend your pansy ass," I replied with a chuckle. Abigail gave me a playful glare.

"Why does that not surprise me that something like that would come out of your mouth?" A voice replied and we both looked up, Abigail's cheeks turning bright red. I let out an internal giggle. Sebastian was standing out by the lake, cigarette between his lips, Sam standing next to him a handheld console clutched tightly as he focused on button smashing, his tongue hanging out the corner of his mouth in concentration. I flipped my hair behind my shoulder.

"Did you expect something else to come out of my mouth?" I asked and Sebastian closed his eyes, a small grin on his face.

"Oh, I don't know, I suppose I pictured you saying that smashing baddies just isn't for everyone and you should find something else to do."

"Very entertaining Seb," I replied with a roll of my eyes, Sam let out a small chuckle. "You got something to add there blondie?" Sam glanced up briefly from his game from under his eyebrows before his eyes darted back to the screen.

"Well, you could have come out cussing. You have been doing that a lot lately too," he replied and Sebastian's grin grew bigger.

"Actually," he started stamping out his cigarette, "you haven't been as moody lately, tell me you got laid and that's why you're in such a good mood," he taunted and I felt my cheeks flush red. Sam choked.

"But, Sebastian, that would require her to talk to someone other than us, and if it's not me she's boinked, and it's not you, cause you're pretty depressing, who else could she have~"

"Seriously?" I interrupted Sam, "you guys are going to discuss my sex life, in the front of me amongst yourselves?" The two men shrugged.

"We could discuss Abigail's sex life, if that makes you feel better, but she has less of a sex life then you do," Sebastian replied. I pinched the bridge of my nose, Abigail's face turned a darker shade of red.

"You know what the two of you don't have?" I started and Abigail looked at me hurt.

"Voice filters?" Sebastian suggested.

"Girlfriends, and now I know the reason why," I said with a roll of my eyes. Once again the men shrugged.

"Anyway! Jill! We're going to the bar later to shoot some pool, care to join us?" Sam asked quickly changing the subject. I shrugged.

"I suppose so. So long as you two will quit discussing Ab and I's sex life," I added with a glare.

"No promises," Sebastian replied and I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever," I replied waving myself off, and heading south back into town to take care of a few errands before running home to freshen up for the evening.

"Oh good! There you are! I have been looking for you everywhere! You know you are a hard person to have a conversation with when you can't be found!" A voice exclaimed and I looked up, confused at first as to who was addressing me, then annoyed when I realized it was Morris walking up to me. I furrowed my eyebrows and tried to walk right pass him, doing my best to ignore him, when he caught me by the wrist, an arm wrapping around my shoulders tightly. I felt every part of me tense up as I glared at him trying to pull away.

"I was hoping that you and I could have a wee bit of a conversation about your membership," he began walking me down the steps and towards the bridge that led to JoJo Mart. Once again I tried to pull away from him but he clamped his hand down on my shoulder harder, forcing me closer to his smug face. I frowned, the man smelled like old musk that you would expect an older man from the 1600s to be wearing, or what you smell when you walk into a house that hasn't been lived in for five centuries.

"I don't have a membership," I said flatly.

"Right right, but!" Morris began raising a free finger in the air. "JoJo Mart offers a variety of products that our 'competitors' don't offer," he finished with air quotes.

"Look Morris," I began as the sliding doors to Jojo Mart opened and he pulled me inside, "I'm very certain that I made it clear to you months ago, that I didn't want a membership. You really have nothing good to offer me," I replied. Morris let out a pompous chuckle.

"But that was because you didn't talk to ME about a membership. And with this deal, you get your membership for the first year free, every year for renewal your membership will be half what the original price is," he replied puffing his chest out.

"No," I said firmly finally shaking him off my shoulders. "I don't want a membership, never did, and never will. However," I said folding my arms over my chest, "when I damage the part of my brain that sees reason, you'll be the first to know as that will be the day I buy your stupid membership," I finished skirting pass him. He grabbed my wrist again, this time a little more forceful then earlier and spun me around, a glare forming on his face.

"You, the mayor, and that skinny little nerd that thinks his store has a chance at out doing my store are the only ones that do not have a membership. Everyone else that lives here sees how great this store is, why can't you?"

"Because I'm not blind like the rest, when you move into a small community you expect certain things like a sense of community, Besides," I began trying to pry the man's fingers off my wrist, "I don't like you," I finished coldly ripping my hand away from Morris.

"Everyone loves this place, you will too in time."

"Look you!" I started shoving my finger in his face. "I hate your pompous attitude and last time I dealt with a JoJo Mart higher up I knocked his teeth out. So! Unless you wish to look like your buddy over at corporate I suggest you stop harassing me otherwise I'll gladly give you a run for your money. Understood?" I demanded angrily and Morris just glared down at me, attempting to look like a menacing dog who was bearing his teeth. Once again I spun around, and made my way towards the door when it slid open, Shane walking in.

"Shane! Good to see you finally decided to wake your useless ass up and come to work. Help me make a deal with your friend here," Morris called over my head and Shane glanced at me before looking up at his boss, giving one simple word "No", and making his way to the back of the store. I turned to Morris who's face was red with anger.

"It doesn't work that way Morris, now leave me the hell alone," I said storming out the store. I was having a good day until that psycho decided to pop up out of nowhere to harass me. I needed a drink. That's what I needed. I never made it home, instead I made my way up the stairs to the saloon and sat down at the bar.

"Everything ok?" Emily asked setting down a glass of water for me.

"I just ran into Morris...Well, actually, he stalked me until I was alone," I started taking a drink from the glass. Emily made a face.

"Gus hates Morris, he feels ashamed to say it, but he only bought the membership so that Morris would stop harassing him and his workers," she said leaning on the counter. I frowned.

"If no one likes him, why hasn't he been run out of the town yet?" I asked and Emily shrugged.

"I don't know. Maybe people are that afraid of him."

"Well, that's ridiculous, the man's a push-over," I replied downing the water, once again Emily shrugged.

"I don't know hun. This is just something that we have to deal with. I'm sure things will get better. You told Morris something?"

"Yea, threatened to knock his teeth out," I replied leaning on the counter. Emily smiled.

"See, one step at a time, I'm sure he won't bother you again." I shook my head.

"I've told him something once before and he's still after me. He's like the world's worst hound," I said putting my head on the counter.

"Aw, don't think about it that way...Just...Think about it as another opportunity to punch him in the face!" I smiled.

"Thanks Emily, that being said, makes me feel ever so slightly better," I replied and Emily giggled.

"Glad that I could be of assistance!" She exclaimed and I nodded, making my way towards the door, I still needed to go home and freshen up before meeting up with the others tonight.

I was just stepping out the shower when my phone went off. I quickly wrapped a towel around me and answered the call.

"Jill? Hey this is Sam."

"Hey, what's up Sam?" I asked running my fingers through my hair.

"Sebastian and I are stuck at his place right now, there is a horrible storm raging right now, so he's on the phone with Abby, and I figured I should call you. We'll have to cancel for tonight, there's just no way we'll make it alive in this storm," Sam explained on the other line. I frowned. I didn't know it was raining out, and as if to spite me, thunder cracked overhead and I furrowed my eyebrows.

"That's too bad, I was really looking forward to kicking you and Seb's ass at pool," I laughed.

"Ha! You would think that, but you've never seen Sebastian play pool like he does when we're playing. He annihilates me," Sam responded with a laugh of his own. I shook my head.

"Damn, next time then huh?" I replied and Sam quickly agreed with me.

"Talk later, my mom's on the other line calling."

"Later Sam," I replied hanging up the phone. I let out a sigh, I really was looking forward to shooting a little pool, maybe having a couple of drinks, and just shooting the shit after what happened earlier. I quickly pulled my pajamas on and made my way towards the kitchen. Mind as well make me something to eat since my evening plans were shit now. I thought making a sandwich and plopping down on the sofa clicking the tv on to watch the news.

I had just started to relax and drift into my own little world, the tv still making noise in the background, when over the thunder I could hear a banging on my door. I stood up confused making my way to the door wondering who in this storm would be knocking on my door. I stood there dumbfounded when I opened the door. Shane was standing on my porch, drenched to the bone with water, swaying back and forth glaring at me.

"What are you doing out in this storm?" I demanded pulling him into the house. He slammed me against the door.

"You got me fired!" He roared angrily.

"What?" I asked confused, pushing myself off the door when he pushed me back roughly, finger raised to my face.

"You got me fired because you told Morris that you'd punch his face in!" He shouted again.

"How does that in ANY WAY affect your working conditions?" I demanded, "and if that was the case then I did you a favor!" Shane loomed over me angrily and I could hear my own heart thumping in my ears. He grabbed both my shoulders roughly pinning me against the door, a muscle in his cheek twitching.

"How, in the fucking hell, was that a favor to me?" He asked slowly.

"Now you don't have Morris' boot up your ass," I said glaring at him, hoping that it would be a good mask to hide how terrified I was at this point.

"So tell me then, what the fuck am I suppose to do now that I'm unemployed," he demanded his nose inches from mine.

"How about giving your aunt a hand around her ranch, she can't run the store and take care of the animals all at the same time," I said, and Shane took a half step back, and I could feel myself beginning to relax again.

"I really didn't come here to yell at you you know," he began again, this time his words slurring slightly. Huh, he didn't seem drunk five seconds ago when he was threatening me.

"Then why did you come over here?" I asked and Shane took another step forward making me shrink back into the door.

"I left my keys at Marnie's and right before I was going to knock on the door I heard 'Oh yes big daddy, do it again'. Thank the universe Jaz was at Jodi's having a play day with Vincent!" He began, his head falling forward knocking against mine. I winced. "I can only take so much of her and Lewis screwing in the house. I understand it's her place but shit she's not quiet!" He exclaimed, the alcohol rolling off his breath. I cringed and pushed Shane back gently, who stumbled a bit before falling over. I let out a frustrated sigh and bent over next to him reaching for his arm. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me down to the floor, leaning in close to my ear.

"I can only tolerate it this much Jill," Shane whispered showing me the small distance between his fingers.

"That's not very much tolerance," I replied. "How about we sit you down on the sofa and I'll make you some tea?" I asked starting to stand once again, trying to pull Shane to his feet when he pulled me back down to the floor.

"I hate tea," he replied and I rolled my eyes.

"Then could you work with me and help me get your ass over to the sofa so I can make you something to drink?" I asked making a point to try and stand again when Shane's grip tightened around my wrist pulling me back down a third time.

"I don't want something to drink."

"Stop pulling me to the floor, and acting like a two year old. Get your ass off the floor, hobble to the couch, and drink what I'm going to give you understand?" I demanded and Shane let out a long, exaggerated groan falling onto his back, pulling me with him. I sat up trying to pull my wrist out of his grasp, his fingers tightening around my wrist. I winced.

"Shane that really hurts," I said starting to tug a bit frantically, when finally his fingers loosened around my wrist and I pulled away from him massaging my bruised wrist. "Shit, I don't understand what you want," I added starting to stand glaring down at Shane, who just rolled over onto his stomach. I shook my head. I would call Marnie to come pick up her drunken nephew, but I couldn't make her worry about Shane. I closed my eyes letting out a frustrated groan as I made my way into the kitchen, pulling a mug down from the cabinet. I stared down at the mug intently running my finger over the chip around the rim of the mug. Things between the two of us were rough then, and now they were worse, although I still didn't understand why Shane would walk his drunken ass through a storm to appear on my doorstep.

I jumped, letting out a small yelp when a pair of arms made their way around my waist.

"Your hair smeells sooo good," Shane slurred burying his face into my hair. "At are ou oing?" He finished.

"Making you some tea, what are YOU doing?" I demanded trying to force his hands off my waist.

"I have to hold onto something or I'll float away," he slurred and I tilted my head up, face contorted in confusion.

"What?" I asked and he slumped forward causing me to fall into the counter. "SHANE!" I shouted causing him to jump and let go. I turned to him and he was leaning against the counter head sitting in his hand sloppily. I frowned. I was so mad at him for the way he reacted to me telling him the most painful thing in my life, that seeing him now...I felt sorry for him. Really sorry for him. He was so downcast and hard on himself that he never gave himself a chance to live. I frowned, knowing that I would kick myself if I just sent him home, especially the way he was right now. I let out a sigh, and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Shane?" I started and he looked up at me lazily, eyes half closed a smile on his drunken face.

"Yes, my angel who's actually a devil?"

"Ooo the alcohol has definitely hit your stomach hasn't it?" I asked grabbing his hand gently a small smile forming on my face.

"Mm~," he agreed as I put one of his arms around my neck trying to walk him back to the sofa.

"Shit Jill!" He exclaimed and I jumped.

"What?" I asked in a bit of panic.

"The floor's moving." I closed my eyes trying not to laugh.

"It's called walking Shane."

"Jill?"

"Yes Shane?" I asked finally sitting him down on the sofa, he grabbed my hand gingerly stroking it.

"You're a good friend. You're such a good friend. You haven't judged me~"

"Oh I've judged you~"

"Not to my face and that's all that matters," he said and I let out a sigh.

"I thought you didn't like me?" I asked and Shane slumped back against the sofa not responding. I slid my hand out of his and nodded my head. Yea, that's what I thought, I thought to myself turning around and making my way to the closet to grab spare pillows and blankets for him. I was making my way back over to the sofa when his hands flew out from the side of the sofa pulling me over and throwing me to the floor. I felt the back of my head collide with the hardwood floor and I cried out in pain.

"Son of a bitch Shane! What the hell was that for?" I yelled starting to slowly sit up rubbing the back of my head. Shane rolled off the sofa to the floor crawling over to me.

"I have to tell you something," he replied and I pulled my hand away from the back of my head frowning at the blood on my hand.

"Damnit Shane! Couldn't you have done it like a normal person?" I fussed pressing my hand to the back of my head wincing as I applied pressure.

"Aw shit, did I do that? I'm sorry," Shane replied getting off the floor and making his way towards my kitchen.

"Damn it Shane," I cussed again attempting to stand up. Shane stumbled back from the kitchen with my whole first aid kit in his hands.

"No," he demanded pushing me back down to the floor. I cringed and Shane took my hand off the back of my head. It wasn't long before he started pouring random antiseptics on the back of my head, then pressing a thick cloth to the back of my head, followed by wrapping gauze around my head and tying it off.

"There, all fixed," Shane replied slapping my back. I fell forward cringing. "Oh, my bad," He added picking me up off the floor.

"Shane is there a reason you're in my house drunk?"

"You opened the door." I put a hand to my forehead. Fuck he had me there.

"That's not what I meant," I muttered turning to Shane. He shrugged.

"What did I come here for?"

"Seriously? You were the one saying you needed to tell me something," I said incredulously.

"Yes! I did have something I wanted to tell you," he started leaning forward. I leaned back. "I don't want you to think I hate you," he replied and I frowned.

"Should I think you hate me?" I asked, when I had already thought that he hated me. He shook his head.

"I don't. I thought that, when you told me what happened to my parents, it would be easier for me to hate you, to blame the whole incident on you, but," he began putting one arm around my legs propping himself up, and using his other hand to turn my face towards him. "I can't. Every time I try to hate you, try to make it out as though this was all your fault, I remember how afraid you were for the luau, the fear that streaked across your face when you looked out into the water. No matter how hard I try, for whatever reason I can't hate you, and I hate that because hating people came so easy for me," he said.

"Don't you think that your hate and anger comes from something else?" I asked, but never got an answer. He had already pushed me to the floor his lips forced against mine, his fingers running through my hair. He was rough, pinning me to the floor when he pulled back.

"Give me one more shot?" He asked in a soft whisper.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

Slow Burn to a Harder Fall

Fall 3

I woke up the next morning, still laying down on my floor from the night before. Shane refused to retire to the sofa, still claiming that he needed to hold onto something otherwise he would float away. I still wasn't sure what he was talking about, of course the last time I got drunk I couldn't remember anything, and Jager never said things like that. I rolled over onto my stomach and slowly stood up, hunched over. The floor wasn't very kind, of course, it could have also been the combination sleeping on the hardwood floor with Shane putting his feet in my back. Shit I really wanted to break his legs now.

I hobbled over to the kitchen to put the coffee pot on and made my way to the bathroom to get cleaned up for the day. I had just started brushing my teeth when there was a banging on the door.

"Jill, you've got to open the door, I'm gonna hurl," Shane's voice came from the other side of the door.

"No," I replied still brushing when the door flew open, Shane pushing me aside and hoovering over the toilet. He heaved once and I took my toothbrush and closed the door quietly behind me making my way into the kitchen to spit and rinse. He heaved again, boy he surely wasn't holding back or trying to be quiet...Wait...I had to clean that bathroom when he was done. I frowned. Nope. He was not my kid. I grabbed my mop bucket added a bit of cleaner and water to it and walked over to the bathroom.

"Shane?" I called placing the bucket down outside the door. "There's a bucket of cleaner outside the bathroom, clean your mess up when you're done." His response was a quick ok before another round of dry heaving. I frowned again. It was time for me to go out and take care of the farm anyway.

I had just let the chickens out into the yard when I heard the house door open. I turned trying not to laugh when I saw Shane slowly make his way out the house squinting at the sunlight. He gripped the railing and made his way down the steps as though he were experiencing the worse pain in his life. I bit my bottom lip.

"Morning Sunshine," I teased and he put a hand to his head giving me a groan in response. "Aw, did that horrible beer make you sick?"

"Oh my...I can't even deal with you this early in the morning, why are you talking about beer?" He asked in a soft voice and I stifled a giggle.

"But I thought it was your favorite subject?"

"Gridball is, but it's an easy mistake."

"Oh. Should have known that."

"You should have actually," Shane replied not opening his eyes.

"Why didn't you stay sleeping?"

"Because you were loud."

"Oh no, don't you dare blame this on me, YOU got fired, YOU got drunk," I said walking over to the fence.

"Well, maybe I wouldn't have gotten fired if you hadn't threatened Morris."

"Well, Maybe I wouldn't have had to threaten Morris if he hadn't harassed me," I said grabbing Shane's hands and putting them together.

"What are you doing?" Shane demanded trying to squint at me. I placed a baby chick in his hands.

"Besides," I started taking one of his hands and putting it on the chick's head, "if you were still working with Morris you wouldn't be able to see this baby chick shit itself trying to figure out what you are," I finished with a grin. Shane frowned.

"You know, I thought you were going to say something inspirational and then you vomited that out your mouth," Shane replied trying not to laugh.

"Well, not all inspiration comes from something that makes sense."

"Heh, where did you hear that from?"

"A very good family member," I said softly.

"Did I strike a cord here or something?"

"No, no, of course not," I said with a reassuring smile. Shane nodded his head unconvinced.

"Look, I hate to crash and leave, but I need to check in with Marnie...Maybe take some drugs for this headache."

"That's fine, I have to meet up with Marlon anyway, he wants to teach me some aerial techniques," I said with a frown. Shane stopped studying my face.

"Um~"

"It's not what you think it is...It's not fighting creatures while flying," I said with disappointment. Shane tilted his head to the side.

"Um, what? Why would you think that?" He asked, and I let out a distressed sigh.

"I met Rasmodius who's a wizard and I don't know! I just thought that you know...He'd work like magic or something!" Shane snorted.

"Really?"

"Projectiles training," I muttered disappointed.

"Right, you tell me how that works out okay?"

"Fine," I said taking the baby chick from his hands as he walked off my farm.

"Oooo~ Someone has a crush on little boy blue," a voice said and I turned around blushing when Sam and Sebastian made their way onto my farm to meet me. "You looked so happy," Sam replied leaning against my fence making a play happy face at me. Sebastian rested his back against the fence blowing out a puff of smoke.

"Most people on a first date usually go eat out, or watch a movie. Making him do farm work really isn't an icebreaker," Sebastian replied. Sam tilted his head upward looking at the sky.

"I always liked picnics."

"You would like eating on a trashcan if the girl was interested."

"I took her to the spring formal," Sam replied pointing at me.

"Dance, Sam, town festival, there's a difference Sam," Sebastian replied.

"Is there something you two want?" I asked feeling my face burning with embarrassment. Sebastian tilted his head towards me.

"We're having a game night tomorrow. Think you can peel yourself away from your boo to come over?" He asked and Sam whipped his head around goofy grin on his face.

"Yes, I will be there, no, we are not dating, stop being a little prick," I replied confidently. Sebastian cocked his head to the side, as though he was actually contemplating my retort when he shrugged.

"Whatever."

"Man, you're such a douche Sebastian," Sam replied with a laugh.

"We have to split, band practice."

"Oh right, something 'practical' right?" I replied sarcastically and Sebastian gave me a small grin.

"You know it," he said stamping out his cigarette and then picking it back up. "It's not too good for the cows right?" He replied walking off with Sam. Aww, he was actually thoughtful. I thought to myself watching them walk away when his hand flew into the air. Ass, I thought frowning at his middle finger that was stuck in the air.

Fall 4

"I already told you you can't make a move like that," Sebastian replied and Sam stifled a chuckle. I threw my head back in frustration.

"Why not? I need to get from A to B right? Why can't I just build a bridge?" I demanded.

"First of all you don't have any material for it, second of all your a mother fucking healer. Your skills are limited to that of tomes, light magic and healing."

"You build the bridge then."

"Wizard."

"I don't know what that means."

"It means he can't," Sam replied a broad smile on his face.

"What AM I allowed to do?"

"You can take two steps to the left and go through the door," Sebastian replied sarcastically.

"You're an ass you know that right?" Sebastian shrugged.

"What about you Jill? You must have been pretty popular in high school, went to a bunch of parties? Played a little truth or dare right?" Sam asked throwing a card down on the table.

"Not really," I replied rolling the dice. Sebastian snorted.

"That explains a lot about you."

"Why not?"

"I don't know, distraction from school?" I started throwing a card down on the table, making Sebastian release another frustrated groan. "Did I do that wrong?"

"You just put me in a literal hole!"

"Well...I thought most guys liked that," I quipped and Sam had fallen over laughing.

"You're a nasty bitch sometimes," Sebastian replied rolling the dice.

"Why are you asking about truth or dare Sam? That's kind of a juvenile game."

"He asks because he has a habit of playing Dare and Triple dog dare," Sebastian replied throwing another card down and frowning.

"Oh I think I use to play that with my brothers. Mooned our next door neighbor, it was a triple dog dare...He was on the neighborhood watch list the following week," I replied sifting through my cards, Sam and Sebastian looking at me in mixed shock and fear.

"Oh no, he died six years back," I said.

"Oooh," Sam started looking at Sebastian confused, "isn't that a good thing."

"Never did play it again."

"So what you're saying is...You'd dare with Sam?" Sebastian asked intrigued. I thought about it for a moment.

"Sure." Sam nearly jumped with joy.

"You realize that we've been daring for years and it always ends up with one of us at Harvey's right?"

"Oh! So a typical day at my parents then?" I said nonchalantly.

"Ooo~I like you this much more now," Sam replied outstretching his arms to show about a foot distance.

"Thaaanks," I replied unsure of what was going to happen next. Sam moved the game over to the side and propped his elbows on the table, head in hands.

"I triple dog dare you~"

I stood at the top of the ladder about to descend into the sewers looking at the two men watching me.

"You know...If you two were too chicken shit to go into the sewers yourself, all you had to do was say. 'Oh Jill, won't you go and take care of the big bad monster in the sewers? We're oh so terrified that it will eat our face off'," I replied sarcastically giving them a coy smile. The two men exchanged glances before they spoke.

"It's much more easier this way," Sebastian replied.

"Oh Jill! Won't you go and take care of the big bad monster in the sewers? It gives me nightmares!" Sam said with a laugh. I glared at the both of them.

"I just want you two to know, that if I die down there, I will not hesitate to haunt you two," I said pointing at them before descending down into the sewers. Going down into the stink of the town on a triple dog dare. Fucking Men. I swear, I thought to myself as I made it to the bottom and looked around. Didn't seem like there was anything down here. Then I heard it and I felt my heart stop. There was a creature down here, and it didn't sound happy. I felt my hand go instinctively to the hilt of my sword and I slowly made my way around the sewers. I cut a sharp corner and peered around at an empty space with statues and vases hanging around. I looked around expecting to see something staying there, but there was nothing in the shadows of this little area.

"Krobus never gets visitors. A human? From the surface?" A voice replied and I whipped around looking at a shadow figure just a few feet away from me. "Are you a spy for the dwarf?"

"What? No...Wait...Dwarf? What are you?"

"I am a shadow person why are you here?" the creature asked and then I recognized where I saw it before. Down in the mines, there was a whole hoard of them that ambushed me at one point. Should I worry about them being this close to town?

"Who are you? Why are you here?" The creature asked again and I snapped back to our conversation.

"Sorry, I live in the town," I started pointing to the ladder, "and a couple of the town's kids were saying that they were hearing strange noises coming from here...I just came to investigate the noise," I replied, and the creature looked crestfallen.

"I didn't mean to scare anyone...I just wanted to live somewhere I didn't have to worry about being bothered."

"No no, Krobus?" I asked and the creature looked up at me and gave me a small nod. "You can stay down here for as long as you want, no one is going to bother you. I promise."

"...would you come visit me?"

"Do you want me to?"

"As...A friend?"

"Of course," I replied and the creature's mood seemed to lighten. "I have to go, I have things that I need to take care of, but you'll see me again," I added before climbing back up the ladder, to where Sam and Sebastian were waiting.

"Well?" Sebastian demanded. I shrugged.

"Well what?"

"What's down there?" Sam asked incredulously.

"Nothing?" I suggested.

"Vincent said he heard a noise from down there."

"I'm gonna say rats."

"Rats?" Sebastian asked in disbelief.

"Yea, and they'll eat your face off if you go down there."

"I can't tell if she's lying or serious."

"Always serious Sam. Like a heart attack. Now, if you two don't mind, I'm going to head back home before you two get me involved in more shenanigans that I didn't volunteer for," I replied starting to walk away.

"Let's do this again sometime, it's fun getting you into trouble! Doing the shenanigans thing!" Sam called and I rolled my eyes.

"Ok," I called back looking up at the sky as a light drizzle started falling. I made my way home through Cindersnap Woods when I could hear shouting. I looked around trying to determine where the shouting was coming from, when I could just barely make out a figure out by the cliffs. I cocked my head to the side and made my way over to the figure cautiously.

"Shane?" I asked quietly as I made my way closer, no response. I knelt down next to his limp figure and put a hand to his shoulder. "Shane?" I asked again giving him a light shake. He turned over looking out over the cliffs. "What's wrong?"

"I got a letter today."

"What about?"

"From my ex. Fucking bitch."

"Why is she talking to you?"

"Jill, why do you keep talking to me?" He asked and I frowned.

"Everyone needs a friend."

"I'm a lost cause. I have nothing going for me. I'm useless and all I do is drink my life away."

"You've had a rough life, and it's ok to express that~"

"I'm stuck in this hole that I can't crawl out of. Tell me something Jill, what is my life really worth? Tell me why I shouldn't just roll off these cliffs right now," he said, his voice choking up.

"Well, for one, if you're gone I have no one to keep me on my toes, to give me a hard time. I'd be a little upset."

"Pfft."

"But Mostly for your family. Marnie loves you and tries her hardest to help you get back on your feet...And Jaz...She needs you, you're the only father she's ever known," I replied and Shane gave me a sad look.

"Jaz...I didn't even think about her. Shit! Now I feel even worse," He replied slamming his head against the ground.

"You're worth the pain to see a smile on that face again."

"Jill?"

"Yes Shane?"

"You need to take me to Harvey's now," he stammered and I jumped to my feet pulling him to his.

I sat in the waiting room for what seemed like forever, when Harvey finally appeared from the next room, a frown on his face.

"Is he going to be okay?" I asked standing up and Harvey nodded.

"He is, he was lucky you brought him to me when you did. He's resting right now...I pumped his stomach and have him on an I.V. Drip...I'll have a talk with him when he wakes up...I have a friend in ZuZu City that might be able to help him," Harvey replied and I nodded my head.

"Do you mind if maybe," I started tilting my head to the side, "I can go in and see him? Even if he's unconscious?"

"Of course..." Harvey replied slowly unsure about my request and I tugged my ear.

"It's...Really it's me just leaving something for him...Could you make sure he gets it?"

"Sure Jill, anything."

"Thank you..."

I made my way back home down the dirt path slowly...I left the box from his father by his bedside. I had been carrying it around waiting for the moment when he needed it..Henry said that I would know when I needed to give it to him, and I felt like this was the time for him to get that box back. I opened my door to all my lights on in the house and an older man sitting on my sofa, his blond hair was neatly brushed back his light blue eyes studying my face.

"Dad?" I asked a bit shocked. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, normally I would chastise you about your mannerism, because where I'm from we greet each other with a hello," he began but frowned. "That's not why I'm here though."

"What?" I asked then looked up. "Mom?" I added and behind her were Jager and Analise.

"Honey...We need to talk..." My mother replied tucking her red hair behind her ear.

"What?" I asked feeling myself begin to shake. My mother grabbed my hands.

"Baby...We need to talk..."


End file.
